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Laughing at: election memes. We hit a new high for good memes at the beginning of the pandemic but things hit a slump for a few months there. The election nearly killed my spirits but memes are slowly helping revive me.

Thankful: that I can vote. I took AB voting with me after school. I always try to take her since it’s a patriotic thing, but this year felt more special since it marks 100 years since white women were allowed to vote. If I couldn’t vote I’d be out on the streets like Mrs. Banks from Mary Poppins.

Not election related, but how accurate and depressing is this one?

Having unpopular opinions about: Kamala Harris. So many people are going crazy that she’s the first woman to be presumptive vice president. “I finally have someone for my daughter to look up to!” It is wonderful that we live in a country that offers such opportunities to men and women. We have come so far in that regard. I applaud what seems to be a dedicated work ethic and I have no doubt she has done good in certain areas, but I cannot hold her up as someone to emulate to my daughter. I can’t use someone who voted against the Born Alive Infants Protection Act as an example for my child. I will side with morals over gender. For the record, this does go both ways. I don’t agree with the disrespectful way Donald Trump often speaks to and about people. I don’t hold him up as a good example in that either.

Embarrassing myself: at the doctors. I had an internal ultrasound on Wednesday. I’ve had them so often this year I told Christopher we should buy our own ultrasound machine and save the time and money of going to the office all the time. The nurse said my uterus and follicles looked good and I said “Thank you. I’ve really been working on them.” Obviously I was kidding because I have no control over these things, but he nurse did NOT have a sense of humor. She looked at me like I was possessed and should not be allowed to raise any more children. I didn’t say much after that since I was in a very compromised physical position.

Watching: the neighborhood facebook page. This is not a good resource for someone who is trying very hard to be less nosy informed about local goings on. Cynthia’s decorative ceramic pineapples were stolen. Clay posts video footage of “reckless teens barely stopping at the stop sign at Southbridge and Morris. Parents, please control your youth!” “I stepped in dog poop in my front yard this morning. I do not have a dog. Please pick up after your pets or I will be forced to call the head of the HOA and animal control.” One person constantly threatens to call animal control so often I wondered if he’d call when he saw a child dressed up as a dog on Halloween.

Watching: cheesy Christmas movies and loving every second. I said to Christopher, “I assume you don’t mind if I watch Midnight at the Magnolia without you?” and he said, “I’d prefer you watch it without me.” Fine. Be the Scrooge of a person who doesn’t want to surprised and thrilled when two very beautiful people fall in love when they both want the same Christmas tree.

Chauffeuring: AB to swimming lessons. They finally started up a few weeks ago and Sesame has been thrilled. She doesn’t do well with sports that involve balls but she’s excelling at swimming. She takes lessons at the Y and their entire management system is truly a mess. It took more than one month of trying to contact Troy, the aquatics director, and a last ditch frustration visit to Samantha in the office to get the lessons set up. I wanted to threat that I’d leave and go to their competitor, but they’re literally the only place in town that has swim lessons. I should have gone to Samantha in the first place. Within 24 hours we had a teacher and time slot. Two weeks ago I tried to pay for her next round of lessons. The lady at the desk wouldn’t let me pay until Troy looked at the registration form even though AB has been an established student for almost two years. I was offering them $90 so you’d think they would have asked me to sign on the receipt asap. Her teacher told me yesterday that “Troy gave me the paper so you can pay now but I don’t know why he’s involved. All he does is look at it when he gives it to me. It seems like a waste of time.” Amen, sister.  Either way, my little fish is back in the water and loving it. She’s learning how to dive and it’s very similar to how I dive. To be specific, it’s a belly flop every time. I’d sign up for diving lessons myself but who knows how long it would take for the paper to get from the front desk to Troy’s office. I might be 37 by then.