I don’t know that you’ll be able to handle how exciting our life has been lately, so let me present it in bullet form:


* Christopher took a sleeping pill Thursday night and slept until 2 o’clock Friday afternoon
* We got caught up on laundry for all of 3.5 hours
* We bought an over-the-door shoe rack (CAN YOU BELIEVE THE EXCITEMENT?)
* The heating man came to fix the broken heat only to tell me, and I quote, “Have the homeowners move the thermostat to a better location.” In a world where it takes the property manager five weeks to even respond to emails, I doubt they’d be on board with any non-emergency construction.
* We discussed taking our Christmas trees down but haven’t actually done it yet. The fake tree obviously isn’t in danger of dying and the real tree is so carefully preserved in our frigid 50% of the time house that it’s held up quite nicely.  I did take the ornaments off the real tree a few weeks ago so all we have is a bare pine tree wrapped in a tree skirt taking up a corner of the living room. It’s very klassy. Decorators of the year over here! 

In other words, nothing has been going on our lives are so full of activities worthy of appearing on the cover of Time magazine that I can barely breathe. 


Speaking of breathing, our second childbirth class was this week. Side note: I HATE the word birthing.
We watched a MUCH MUCH MUCH too up close and personal video from the 70’s of a lady having her baby and of the six people in the room, only two enjoyed the experience. One was the teacher and the other was the Chatty Cathy Doula in training. Quiet Sidekick Doula in training didn’t say much but I noticed she moved so a pillow was in a strategic location between her and the tv.  The other dad in the room, who already has a daughter, almost passed out on the couch. His wife was giggling too much from how embarrassing the whole thing was to look. I looked as little as possible because UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL. Christopher was blessed beyond measure to be working late and miss the class. Unfortunately his absence meant Chatty Cathy Doula offered to be my husband when we had to practice the exercises, but ANYTHING to get away from the video. 

While we’re on the topic of babies (since we’re on a rabbit trail of topics here anyway), I’d like to discuss for a moment how creating a baby registry is nothing like creating a wedding registry. Wedding registries are all fun and games and “OOOOHHH!!!! Look at this carrot peeler! Let’s put that fancy cutting board on the list! Don’t forget the wine glasses!! And we need the swivel-top trash can to complete our kitchen decor! Isn’t this fun?” Five hours later the people who accompanied you are sitting in the massage chairs wondering when you’ll be done.

Baby registries are a whole different ball game. Heaven forbid you choose the wrong ring stacking toy and suddenly your child is destined to be behind it’s peers for life. Amazon has more than 7 pages of ring stacker toys to choose from. Wooden, plastic, or cloth? Rainbow or pattered? Turtle or Veggie Tale themed? Five or seven rings? Rainbow or ombre? All organic materials? WHY DO THEY MAKE PICKING A TOY SO COMPLICATED? These toy designers need to simmer on down and remember that kids like playing with boxes from the recycling bin. I excel when it comes to over-thinking very small and unimportant decisions so it took me 15 hours to decided on this one. 

Don’t ask how long it took me to decided on a pack n play pattern. 

PS. I can’t even imagine how I would feel to be this woman. I take that back. I imagine A LOT of tears.