never say never

I am not a a sporty person. 

I love baseball and the Olympics but football, soccer and basketball could be banned and I’d never once miss them. I always assumed that I’d have children who played sports and I wasn’t overly thrilled about it. It’s not that I don’t want to give my child the opportunity to excel in sports, it’s just that I don’t want to do all the driving and sitting through practices necessary for her to become proficient. I want the benefits and glory of an pro athlete child with the work of a 30-minute practice once a week. I have a feeling it doesn’t work like that but come back in 15 years and we’ll see if I succeeded. I wouldn’t mind being a baseball mom, but soccer mom? Thanks but no thanks. Don’t even come at me with your talk of me ever being a football mom. 

But as life goes, that which I don’t want to be is what I have become- a soccer mom.
We missed the spring soccer signup but told AB she could do the fall season. She was thrilled and asked endlessly when soccer would start. I had to work the night of her first practice and I felt AWFUL about it. It seemed like a big moment in her life and I was missing it. Not to mention that it won’t make me look good when she’s giving an interview at the Olympics and mentions how her mom couldn’t make it to the first practice. I’m very concerned about how her potential sports career will affect my comfort and reputation. 

The tides have turned in an unexpected direction. While I have no desire to watch adults play soccer, I have become a very enthusiastic sideline participant of kids soccer. I like to yell helpful advice from my blanket even though I know next to nothing about the sport. The Strikers are not an organized team and seldom have a clue what’s going on, but they try. Antonio is off in the corner practicing is leaping skills. Robert can’t decide if he is going to be a useful part of the team or a hindrance. Annabelle is too polite and doesn’t want to get the ball from the opposing team, but she has lots of time to practice before the summer Olympics of 2036.

back to regularly scheduled programming

Apparently I took a 13 day blogging break.

I didn’t mean to take a break, it just happened. I can barely even remember what happened between last time I blogged and now. I do remember that I sat Annabelle down on the edge of the front porch to take her picture and she fell over backwards into the bushes. Yesterday she got half a plastic Easter egg stuck in her mouth. Look for my book on child safety coming out next month.

Joanna, one of my best friends from home, has been visiting for the week. We went to Walmart and the splash pad so I’m sure all her dreams of a wild and fun Nashville vacation were fulfilled. She keeps saying she doesn’t mind hanging out at home or doing Annabelle things but I still feel bad it’s not more exciting. I scheduled AB to go to daycare today so we could spend some time alone but poor Joanna got the stomach bug and spent all day in bed. I wasn’t going to cancel daycare at the last minute so after I dropped Annabelle off I went to the car place to vacuum out my car. All was going well until I accidently started vacuuming up my shirt and couldn’t get it to stop. My shirt got lifted so high I’m sure the bottom of my bra was showing. Speaking of awkward moments. At church on Sunday I was wearing my new wedges and I lost my footing and fell over. You can just call me Grace. Naturally I didn’t fall over in an empty room. I fell over in front of a crowd. I didn’t know what to say to I blurted out “Sorry! I’m so sorry!” WHAT WAS I SORRY FOR? That they had to witness what appeared to be a drunken mother leaving the nursery? I might need to find a new church.

Since we’re already all over the place here I might as well discuss daycare. After much anguish and tears I decided to send AB to daycare a few hours a week while I go to appointments, do errands, paint my nails and sit around eating bonbons. A lady the next street over runs a little home daycare and since available babysitters are few and far between around here, I signed her up. Last week was her first time going and I almost threw up in the bushes outside the lady’s door, I was so nervous. You may be thinking I’m a helicopter parent who doesn’t let her child out of sight. You would be wrong. I’ve hired babysitters and left her plenty of times but I never dropped her off with someone I don’t know. I’ve seen the news. I know what can happen. That’s why I picked a place close to my house. I can practically see it from my back deck so if there’s a fire I can be there before the first responders. I wish I was kidding.

In other news, we celebrated Father’s Day. I ordered Christopher’s gift late so it didn’t arrive in time for him to open Sunday but he got no less than 7 cards to make up for the lack of wrapping paper. He stayed home with Annabelle while Joanna and I went out to paint pottery. It was his special day so it seemed only fair he should have the privilege of changing the many diapers of his favorite offspring while the one who brought her into this world relaxed.

Mothers Day, Edition Two

Look how tiny she was back in October. Somebody make the growing stop!!
Don’t act like you’re surprised we’re matching. I planned our wardrobe weeks in advance. Even Christopher got on board by wearing blue to church.
Two years running and our mother/daughter matching game is as strong as ever. Excuse me while I shed more tears over tiny AB. (Also. Can we discuss how exhausted I looked last year? Good grief.)
I love this picture. She’s telling me I’m her favorite mom, she loves me so much and she wants go celebrate the day by showcasing her new screeching ability. As a cherry on top, she will drop her food on the floor and pretend it’s confetti.

After church Sesame and I went on a little date to Dunkin Donuts. She already loves their hash browns so I feel my job of training her in the way she should go is complete. When she got up from her nap we went strawberry picking with Tiffany. She looks as cool as a cucumber in November while my offspring and I are a lovely shade of Glistening Red. 

Annabelle was obviously a big help picking berries.
When we got home I brought Annabelle out to swim in her pool and play with Harriet Tubman the cat. (I don’t know why I specified Harriet Tubman is the cat. It’s not as if the original Harriet Tubman would make an appearance on our porch.) While we were playing, Christopher assembled my gift- a jewelry armoire that is so beautiful I could stare at it for hours. I was Shocked with a capital S. I would have been perfectly happy with flowers and a hug but they (mostly the baby, naturally) went above and beyond. They’re pretty good people. I guess I’ll stick around with them for a few more decades.
You’d think we could have utilized the timer on the camera to take a family picture.

a matchy-matchy Mother’s Day

Yesterday was the day people wrote touching stories about how they looked at their child and fell in love with him/her the instant it was born.

I did not feel that way.

When the doctor held her up, I didn’t think “I’m so glad Sesame is a girl” or “I love her so much”. I looked at her and thought “She looks just like Tom Carl.” Tom Carl is a boy I’ve known since I was born and hadn’t thought about for months, yet suddenly he popped into my head in the operating room. I didn’t remember having dated Tom and certainly didn’t remember marrying him but my child looked like him. My medicated self was so confused. 

We did the baby dedication at church yesterday morning. The fact that I WILLINGLY SIGNED UP for an event that required me to stand in front of people proves that I have officially lost my mind. I was worried that I’d fall down the stairs or the baby would pull down the top of my dress but neither happened, hallelujah praise the Lord. Some people (looking at you, Alaska Sarah) pointed out that I didn’t smile while I was up there but there’s no way that was going to happen. We can only expect so many miracles on a Sunday morning. I hoped no one would be looking at me when they could be looking at a cute baby in her signature blue bow.

Annabelle and I wore matching dresses. I’m going to take advantage of matching with her while I can. 

She really liked that we were matchy-matchy. Look at the enthusiasm! 

That afternoon we went to the pottery painting studio because I wanted a tile with Sesame’s hand print on it. Not only am I sentimental, I am slightly crazy to think she’d be on board with the idea. She cried the entire time but we got it. One day, probably next month, I’ll look at it and cry about how little her hand was. Speaking of crying, the girl rolled from her belly to her side on Friday. Talk about traumatic. Rolling today, college tomorrow. 
IF I even let her go to college, which is doubtful.
I love her squishy face.