We started the week as we always do by going to church. I dropped Annabelle off in her classroom and asked if she needed to use the potty before I left. She said no. The nice lady in charge of the children’s programs told Annabelle she could tell her if she needed the potty and she’d be happy to take her. AB nodded her head and said ok. Out of nowhere, a second lady in the room turned to Annabelle and demanded, “Say ‘yes, ma’am.'” I stared at her so hard I’m surprised I didn’t burn a hole through her. I’m fine with friends and family correcting Annabelle if need be, but I don’t know that woman. Annabelle didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not like she hit someone! That would have been a reasonable reason to correct my child. I told Christopher about it and he did not share in my huffiness.
Later that evening, Christopher went out back to talk to the neighbor. Said neighbor told him that if the grass isn’t kept short enough, we’ll be dealing with rattlesnakes and cooper heads in the warmer weather. POISONOUS SNAKES IN MY YARD. Mike Peedro the ex-convict neighbor told me about the rattlesnakes when we moved in but he doesn’t always tell the truth. A reliable neighbor passed on the information this time, so I believe him and have vowed to never walk in my yard again. Our grass is almost a foot long so there’s probably a hold herd (flock? group? huddle?) of snakes out there. Christopher did share my negative views about this situation.
As if snakes in the yard and frogs in/on my house isn’t enough, on Monday the landlord and her father came over to inspect a hole by the house. Richard stared at the hole for .6 seconds and announced, “Well. Looks like you have an armadillo under there.”
At this point I shouldn’t be surprised by anything. If someone tells me a lion lives across the street I’ll just smile and nod. Richard said to put a board over the hole. Seems to me that will present a new problem. What if the armadillo gets trapped and dies under there? What then, Richard? I hope you have a plan for that scenario.
No sooner had Richard left then Nine Fingered Larry showed up. The bathroom floor has water seeping through it which obviously is a problem. Larry came over a few weeks ago to fix an electrical problem. When he came that time he said he wasn’t an electrician but he knew a few things about electricity. I know a few things too. For example, if not handled properly bad things can happen. Maybe that’s why he’s missing a finger. He didn’t fix anything that time so I didn’t expect it to be any different when he was in my home this week. He said he wasn’t a plumber but he was going to look at the bathroom anyway. I showed him to the bathroom where he gave me a brief lesson in pipe location and other things I didn’t fully understand thanks to his accent. He talks so slow and makes comments I don’t understand. He finally diagnosed the problem. The toilet paper holder had fallen off the wall because of drywall issues. Christopher patched the hole but had yet to reattach the holder. According to Larry, when Christopher screwed the holder back in he hit a pipe which lead to leaking in the floor. Except Christopher had not screwed anything into the wall, which I pointed out to Nine Fingered Larry. That really took the wind out of his sails. He sauntered out, promising that the real plumbers would be by soon.
The plumbers did indeed come by and leave this lovely souvenir in our wall.
It really fits the aesthetic I’m going for in this house. Between that, the snake repellant and the peppermint oil/water mixure I use on the frogs it’s becoming a real Southern Living home around here.
You've got an interesting community that you've built up there, to say the least. Yes snakes are a real issue – cut that grass!
I would share in your huffiness! Maybe a little okay to correct if they've seen you say that – not after such a short time in a new place!
And I had to look it up. A group of snakes can be a bed or a pit – except for a group of rattlesnakes which is a rhumba. At least that has a fun ring to it (in any place except your yard). Good luck! 😉
Yeah I would have lost it on that lady. No one would talk to my kid like that. Unacceptable.