I had perfectly timed out plans yesterday afternoon. We would go to the dentist at 3:15, come home an hour later and I’d do my blog before supper.

The best laid plans crumble into the dust.

We didn’t see the dentist until after we had waited for over an hour. When I finally got to the room I sat in the chair waiting for another 45 minutes. Christopher and AB got their cleanings but the dentist said I “wasn’t on the right schedule” for cleaning. I’m not sure how telling the receptionist ”I’d like to schedule a cleaning” was translated to “let’s put her down for the dentist will look at her teeth for 60 seconds” but it did. The exam room had a tv so I learned that wine and vegetables are the new wine and cheese and that Zac Efron has a fitness app so it wasn’t all a waste. (Kidding. It was a waste of time.) I got home almost 4 hours after I left and never a blog post was written.

Speaking of plans crumbling to the dust, Easter was NOT successful. Someone should have sent me this message when I got out of bed.

 

It’s wasn’t that I got out on the wrong side of the bed. It was more like the wrong side of the world. Let’s go with wrong side of the universe. It was beyond world.

First of all, the dress I was wearing and feeling pretty good about made AB say, “I can’t tell if you’re wearing pajamas or not.” There’s a reason she isn’t in charge of her wardrobe. I went to get the milk out of the refrigerator and a can of coke burst open on the floor. The cats could not believe their good fortune and licked it up like nobody’s business.

I wore the pajama dress to church because I didn’t have anything else ironed. I didn’t realize I had forgotten to put my little shorts underneath until Annabelle stuck her arm all the way up to my underwear in front of a crowd. Obviously we need to find a new church but we don’t love this one anyway so it’s not too much of a hardship.

Less than 5 minutes into the service I started crying and had to go sit in the car. Christopher went back in to get Dad and Annabelle so we could leave. I hated that they had to miss church because I couldn’t hold myself together. 

We were having company for dinner so I decided to make bread. I’ve made this recipe several times before with no issues. I put it in the oven right on time but soon smelled burning plastic. I had accidentally used parchment paper that can’t get hotter than 400*. The oven was at 450*. The parchment paper melted to the bottom and sides of the bread and the kitchen smelled like plastic. Shortly after that a towel got stuck under a pan on the stove and started to burn. The lightbulb in the bathroom went out. The air conditioning wasn’t working. Linus escaped the house three times. I’ve blocked the other bad things from my mind. Literally everything I touched burnt, broke or stopped working.

We had a nice dinner and games with our friends. For a few hours things went well. It was our first meal at the farmhouse table Christopher made us. I love it so much. I started campaigning for him to take up woodworking seven years ago so I could have a new table and he finally got around to it. Dreams do come true if you bug your spouse long enough! We still had the old table and chairs in the kitchen along with the new so we could have sat a small army of 18 guests.

I thought I was past the worst the day could offer but oh no! Once again I was mistaken. As I was moving blankets to get in bed, I saw a mouse. A MOUSE IN MY BED. It was a baby but still. A MOUSE IN MY BED. I seldom get truly mad, but I was mad. I marched out to the living room holding the blanket with the mouse and demanded that we move. I’ve had frogs in the bathroom, lizards under my beloved hutch, giant cockroaches in every room and now a mouse in my bedroom. It was too much. A BRIDGE TOO FAR. I seriously considered leaving my family at home and getting a hotel room but with my luck all the hotels would have been full.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter. May your Reeses cups been sweet and your house free of rodents.