I started listening to The Perfect Couple last week. I told Christopher about it, and said I couldn’t decided if I should finish the book before watching the show on Netflix. I said it wasn’t his kind of story so either way, I’d watch it without him. The next day I asked him, purely for conversations sake, who he thought commited the crime. Without knowing anything about the story, he said the caterer did it. We discussed it at least three times. Last night, he saw The Perfect Couple pop up on Netflix and said, “Oh hey! I heard a story about that show on BBC today and it sounded pretty good. We should give it a try.” He truly thought he was presenting a new show for us. Dude. Come on. We talked about it multiple times in the last 72 hours but nothing stuck until the credible source that is BBC brought it up.
AB and I went to Party City this afternoon. Our local location is closing and everything is 80% off. A few weeks ago, the items were only 5% off. Five percent is literal pennies. At that point, why even bother saying it’s on sale. It barely makes a dent on the reciept. This time I spent $37 and saved $140. I feel like I saved one million dollars and wanted to reward myself for saving money by buying myself a coffee. Hashtag girl math.
In the total opposite of saving one million dollars, we recently purchased a new car. That was not in our plans for the next several years, but Christopher’s car was recently hit by a man on a moped which sped up its demise. I almost hit the same man in the same exact spot a few weeks later. Once again, he was riding his moped the wrong way on a one-way road. Clearly being flipped over a hood and landing in the middle of the road wasn’t a wakeup call. I know next to nothing about car shopping. I fulfill every stereotype of a woman not knowing how to buy a car. I don’t know what to ask. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to hurt the salesmans feelings if I don’t like something. The only questions I could think of was about gas milage. I knew that I wanted a cd player (don’t come at me about itunes, I KNOW all about it), a regular key, and plenty of glove compartment space for my mobile coffee shop. I wanted the blinker to sound nice and good trunk space. I do know I like Lincoln Navigators, but until a rich uncle dies and leaves me a hefty inheritance, I will continue to shop secondhand at Nissan. The plan was for Christopher to take my car and me to take the new car. It felt like an intense amount of pressure to choose the right vehicle that I will have for the next 8-10 years, if all goes well and I am not attacked by a moped. We finally decided on one, and Christopher kept asking if I was sure I liked it. How can I make such a big decision?! I am too much on a penny pincher to make large purchases. How can possibly know if a car will be good when I’ve only spent 15 minutes test driving it? The new car has a push button start instead of a real key and does not a CD player, but those who have yet to grow a money tree cannot be picky. The blinker sounds good, and my mobile coffee shop has been supplied with a new stash of straws from Dunkin Donuts. I’m rolling through town like a cool mom.
We recently had our family pictures taken. Normally we’re romping through the fields for pictures, but I won a photo session at a studio in Florida. It was a very fancy operation. Several nice ladies called prior to the photoshoot to discuss wardrobe, the color scheme of our home, where our portraiture of heirloom quality would be displayed, the personalities of the family members, etc. The personalities of two thirds of the family members is that they don’t like having their pictures taken so I apologized in advance. We arrived at the studio to champaign flutes of sparkling cider waiting for us on a tray. There was a lifesize portrait of a couple with their four dogs wearing layered Victorian collars hanging on the wall to our left. That piece cost many thousands of dollars but like they reminded us, these pieces are meant to last for three to four hundred years and as such, the price tag reflects the quality. I can only hope that my great great great great grandchildren will be impressed with our (inexpensive) Amazon boutique dresses and eight year old tie when they gaze upon these works of fine art. Our friends, the royals of England, recently released new photos and videos of themselves so it only seems fitting to now release our own photos. 
We do not have the canvas versions yet. They’re being printed and framed in Europe and will arrive around Thanksgiving. Normally I get my pictures printed at Walgreens so this is a big step up. We opted out of the six foot lifesize version. In case there’s a house fire, I must be able to re-enact Dolley Madison carrying the portrait of George Washington out of the White House and have the ability to easily grab my timeless work of art. We will never again look this good. I will not let us go up in smoke! 
