I recently was the substitute teacher for the K3 class at school.

That is all the energy I have to discuss it.

The first fifteen minutes went fine. I love little people! The children arrived and I learned their names while they hung up their backpacks. Several children had considerable confusion over whether the lunchbox they pulled from their backpack was indeed theirs. A few friends, who were supposed to be playing at the table, came over to inspect each new arrival and declared that the lunchbox might actually be theirs instead of the rightful owners.

By 8:10, Jude had a very messy accident. By 8:11, I was ready to call it a day. Everyone crowded around to see and comment. He didn’t have a change of clothes in his backpack, so he was sent to the office to await his mother and new clothes. The office called the mother of the wrong Jude, so he was there for nearly an hour. I carted the other seven children to chapel. We arrived late so the entire school watched us do the walk of tardy shame to the front row. I wish that was the only shame I experienced in chapel that day. We were a group of sinners and heathens in the house of the Lord. Ken was licking and eating his shoe like a sandwich. Ansley was throwing the bulletins in the air, pushing Ken, and slapping me whenever I told her to stop. Landry spotted her mom and was hollering to go sit with her. There was a lot of “He looked at me! I don’t want her breaving on my shoulder! I DON’T YIKE IT HERE.” Five of the seven never stopped moving, talking, and disrupting the service for 45 minutes. We shouldn’t have been in there. It was way over their heads. Only Ruth and JJ were quiet. I forgot those two angel babies were with us until one of them won an award. I was mortified that I couldn’t control the kids better. I thought every other teacher must be looking at me and wondering why I didn’t have the hooligans in a row. I was doing the best I could. I’ve been in childcare my entire life, but that was too many toddlers for one person.

After chapel, we returned to the classroom where we sang a real banger that went, “Green, green, likes to clean! Green, green, likes to clean! Green, green, likes to clean! God made beautiful colors!” I tried teaching a lesson on Moses and a lesson on the letter F so we’d have some semblance of education, and it went only slightly better than chapel. Everyone needed to occupy the same four inches in front of my feet. Eventually, I gave up. Most of the day was playing which is all 3 year olds need anyway.

Even though I got overwhelmed, I did enjoy some parts. Nellie was in awe that I knew how to spell her name. Just flabbergasted with my knowledge. I played with dolls and the pretend kitchen. I bought endless groceries at the pretend Aldi without spending a dime.

Naptime conversation:
Child- “Can I take my shoes off?”
Me- “Yes, you may.”
Another child- “Can I take my socks off?”
Me- “Yes, you may.”
Another child- “Can I keep my shoes on?”
Me- “You can leave your shoes on or take them off.”
Another child- “Can I leave my socks on?”
Me- “Guys! You can all take your shoes off or you can leave them on. You can take your shoes off and leave your socks on. Or you can take off your shoes and your socks. I don’t care. I need you to pick one and lie down.”
Another child- “Can I take my socks off and leave my shoes on?”
Another child- “Can I take my shoes off?”

The office called me a few days ago to ask if I could sub again. I didn’t even ask what class needed the help. I said no immediately. I am still recovering.