6:02- Rude awakening thanks to a diaper malfunction.
6:20- I’m wearing new pjs, drinking a bottle (aka first breakfast) with Dad and watching Mom put a new sheet on my crib.
7:41- I awake for the day and wonder when Mom will get me up. She doesn’t arrive for 10 minutes.
8:10- Mom nurses me aka I have my second breakfast.
8:40- Third breakfast! We’re out of all the good breakfast food (muffins, oatmeal, butter which means we can’t have toast) so I eat rice krispie cereal. 
9:30- Bath in the big tub!
9:58- My head is squeezed through a tiny hole. Apparently this is what they call “getting dressed”.
10:02- Down for a nap.
10:20- I cry until Mom picks me up and nurses me. I need that midmorning snack to get through my nap.
10:57- I decide Mom’s had enough alone time. Time to play, eat puffs and pull on the curtains.
11:15- Dance party to Christmas music! 
11:50- I have a healthy lunch of apple sauce with aronia berry. Mom says she doesn’t know what aronia berry is but she’s giving it to me anyway. Is that safe?
12:30- I spend 15 minutes playing with a mini gourd. Mom still hasn’t put away her fall decor yet.
12:50- Mom notices I’m eating Dad’s playing cards with the confederate flag on them. She says even though the confederate flag isn’t her favorite doesn’t mean I should be eating it. #partypooper
12:52- She sticks her finger in my mouth and pulls out a wad of paper. 
12:53- I fall over and smack my head on the floor. TEARS.
12:55- We’re going outside! To the mailbox! My favorite daily activity! 
1:10- We sit in the rocking chair so I can have second lunch.
1:20- I play my piano like the child prodigy that I am. I go crazy and play with my feet while holding a green ball because YOLO.
2:00- nap time
2:43- THIS NAP TIME IS OVER. (Mom is not happy with me. She says I’ve had horrible naps today.)
3:00- Mom says we need to get out of the house so we go to the grocery store. 
3:37- I’m sandwiched between two boxes of crackers and a roll of plastic wrap.
4:28- Eating crackers in my highchair while watching Mom decorate the mantle. She hasn’t asked my opinion.
6:00- I enjoy a meal of peas, carrots and more crackers.
6:18- I randomly yell “hi” to no one in particular.
6:30- I look at the American Girl magazine for a present to get myself give Prince George for Christmas.
6:52- I’m stuck under my exersaucer.
7:07- Pajama/Bible book/nightly snack time.
7:20- Mom sings to me then we do our nightly ritual of touching the elephant lamp, waving to the Paddington Bear stuffed animal and hitting the elephants on my mobile.
7:33- Mom puts me in bed and says good night. Says she loves me but doesn’t want to see me again until the morning.
7:41- I’m writing this from my crib. Don’t tell Mom but I’m not asleep.