I have just returned from a trip to St. Louis. And by “just” I mean I got back on Sunday morning. My friend Kim of the Fancy Wedding Atop a Mountain had a bridal shower weekend and a participant of said fancy wedding, I went along for the festivities.
Kim, Ashley (another bridesmaid) and I stayed at her grandmother’s apartment. Grandma Betty lives in a very fancy retirement community which is just another way of saying we spent the weekend at a senior citizen hotel. It was a delightful time except for the fact that her mattress was from approximately WW2 and made the floor look as inviting as a Sleep Number bed.
On Friday Grandma took us to the fancy mall. It was so fancy they had a special name for Forever 21- Forever XXI. I can always tell when I’m at an unusually expensive mall when the GREAT CLEARANCE PRICE for a shirt is still in the three digits. Grandma Betty pointed out a pair of black and white shoes and said they matched the dress pants she just bought. Very impressed with her style, I said, “You bought zebra pants? That is so fashionable!” She sighed then replied, “Actually, they make me look more like a cow.”
Friday night we went to a fancy dinner at a country club. (Are you noticing a pattern here? There was A LOT OF FANCY going on.) Here I am with the bride to be.
On Saturday we went to the St. Louis Arch. 
We initially planned to visit the zoo, but the powers that be (namely Kim’s mom) decided to take us to the arch instead because “there are animals in other places”. We ended up seeing an animal after all because we walked into the visitors center and were greeted by a bear. I thought it was a polar bear so I said, “Oh! Look at the polar bear!” in case anyone missed the giant animal in the center of the room. (I try to be helpful whenever I can.) I heard someone behind me snicker but didn’t know what they were snickering about until I investigated further and discovered that it wasn’t a polar bear. It was a (very light) brown bear. And the person was snickering because some tourist thought that polar bears roamed the streets of St. Louis.  
The same tourist thought she was going to climb stairs to reach the top of the arch, but was informed that once again she was wrong. While climbing 1,076 stairs was an option, she rode up in a little spaceship-looking contraption.
The Mississippi River was flooded and from the very top of the arch we saw that an entire visitor center was under water. 
Saturday night Kim’s aunt and uncle hosted another party/shower. It’s a pity they couldn’t find a more relaxing spot for the event.

Meet Ashley, former contestant on a reality show in which she tried to find her true love. Meet Sarah, aka Paley McPalester.

Kim registered for a set of salt and pepper shakers that cost $265 American dollars. As it wasn’t made of pure gold and studded with Swarovski diamonds, I gave her a picnic basket from TarJay Boutique instead. It seemed more practical and less like a break-the-budget gift. 
Next month is the wedding. It’s a three day event so I except the fancy to be ABOUNDING AND OVERFLOWING.