Oct 9, 2018 | Currently, Uncategorized |
I drove by my nail salon this morning and saw a blue Nissan Rogue out in front. I thought to myself, “I don’t know why my car is there.” It wasn’t. I was in my car. The heat has officially fried my brain.
Trying: a new exercise class. I’d heard about barre classes a few years ago but never lived near a place that had it. I happened upon a studio down the street from AB’s school that has a class from 12-12:45. That gives me 15 minutes to drive 6 minutes down the road and be at school in time for pick up. I really had no excuse not to go. My experience can be summed up in the following picture.
A kind lady showed me which room the class was in and what supplies I needed. She said I could use 1 or 2lb weights, it was up to me. I almost picked the 2lb because I didn’t want people to think I was a wimp plus there’s no need to show off all my skilz right away. I decided to go with the 1lb since it was my first class. Pride would indeed have gone before the fall because 10 minutes later I could barely lift those tiny weights. My arms were burning. My thighs were cramping. My abs were shaking like never before. It didn’t help that every other lady in the class was slim and trim and my reflection made me feel like a polar bear next to them. But I pressed on and even went back the next week. I’ve heard through the grapevine that it takes weeks of exercise to notice any significant change in the body. Personally, I think change needs to happen overnight to keep up morale but life can be so unfair.
Listening to: the Dr. Death podcast. I have a wide range of podcasts in my rotation but they were all put aside while I listened to Dr. Death. It’s the true story on an incompetent surgeon whose patients were paralyzed or even died after he operated on them. A few doctors tried to stop him but the hospital system didn’t remove him before he caused significant damage. I listened to it for two days straight. I got so sucked in and formed many theories. I need you all to listen so we can discuss.
Watching: Making It. Making It is a crafting competition. Each week they have two challenges to create and everyone is so so good. I LOVE IT. It makes my crafts look like they were made by a toddler, but I was still inspired to get out my glue gue and redecorate the playroom.
Bob Herzog. Bob is a newscaster based in Cinncinati. Every morning he makes little videos while he puts on his tv makeup, and on weekends he records himself telling stories from the week or life in general. He is so funny and don’t we need a little more funny in this world? Sometimes you need someone to tell a story about how they lost their keys under the floorboard of their car for weeks to make yourself feel like you’re not alone in ridiculous things happening.
Reading: I’ll Love You Forever to AB. People get very worked up about that story. They say it’s creepy that the mother is rocking her boy when he’s a teenager and even when he’s grown. Here’s what I have to say to that- that book is basically my autobiography. Don’t think I won’t want to rock Annabelle when she’s older. I fully intend to follow her to college and set up camp outside her dorm room. Not that I’ll let her leave me for college, of course. She’ll live in her bedroom across the hall from me forever.
Going: to the splash pad. It’s not often we slather on the sunscreen in October.
Jul 27, 2018 | Currently, Uncategorized |
Reading: children’s book after children’s book after children’s book. We’re nearing the end of the library’s summer reading program and doing our best to have a strong finish. We blew the minimum number of books out of the water. The required number was 3 but we’re at 93. I didn’t know I was supposed to be keeping track of minutes until a few weeks ago so I used my poor math skilz to calculate that we were at 300 minutes. We have two more days to reach 600 minutes and we’re almost there. Almost meaning 90 minutes but we shall press on. Sesame doesn’t care one bit but I’m determined to make it. We went to an end of the program party and AB danced her little feet off. She got up on the stage with the other children and sang Let It Go. For some reason it made me tear up. She’s getting so big!
She won a prize for participating in the program and we picked it up today. She got a Pete the Cat book, stuffed animal and a few coupons for free ice cream and KFC. We also got a Dunkin Donuts gift card. The librarian let us choose between Pizza Hut and DD and without my influencing Annabelle chose DD. My work as a mother is done.
Burying: Benjamin “Little Blue” Harrison, our beta fish. He was never as beloved a member of our family as Millard T. Fillmore so it’s possible he died of a broken heart. He was a very boring fish and none of us are surprised he lived a short life. I sent him down the porcelain express this morning and we’ve already replaced him. Walmart isn’t where I typical purchase live fish but the pet department was right next to the shaving cream I needed so it was killing two birds with one stone. His name is TBD but Annabelle is calling him Bluey Gabluey and that’s a name train I refuse to get on.
Planning: my New Years 2020 party. The theme will be Hindsight.
Setting up: a slipnslide. Our old slipnslide went the same way as AB’s kiddie picnic table- lost somewhere between NY and here. Personally, I think it was stolen by the movers but that hasn’t been proven. I got a new one and set it up this morning to the soundtrack of AB’s constant comments. “Are you sure that’s the way it goes? Is it long enough? Can I have a snack? Can it turn into a pool? How do they make slipnslides? Is it lunchtime yet?” I put on my bathing suit and slide down because I want her to remember me as a cool mom. I banged my knee on a rock and am icing the huge welt it made on my leg as we speak. A few hours before that I shut my arm in the library door. She’ll remember me as the invalid mom.
(Apparently) bad at: drawing. I drew a number 7 balloon on a birthday package I was mailing and the lady at the post office asked if it was a sock. Because drawing a sock on a string makes sense. I’m not Norman Rockwell but it was slightly insulting.
Shopping at: Joanns. As always. This is so me. I saw a cute painted box in aisle 2 then wandered the store looking for an unpainted box, stencils and paint so I could make my own.
Forgetting: everything I was going to blog about.
Apologizing for: such a boring post.
Jun 8, 2018 | Currently, Uncategorized |
Reading: The Choice by Edith Eva Eger. I read a higher than normal amount of books about WW2 so when I say this is one of the best books I’ve read from that time it’s because I’ve done my research. It is so, so good. She survived Auschwitz and became a psychologist promoting forgiveness, healing and compassion.
Listening to: The Happy Hour podcast. The most recent episode was with a woman who was a victim of a home break-in and assault by three men. I was home alone listening when I heard a banging on the door. I froze. The woman in the podcast heard banging before her house was broken into. I thought for sure my life was about to end. At least Annabelle wasn’t there to witness the end of her mother’s life. All I had to defend myself was a mallet and screwdriver. Spoiler: I’m still alive. It was only the AC repairman coming four hours early.
The How I Built This podcast. As someone who has 14 different business ideas, I like to learn from others who have grown successful businesses. I disagreed with one lady who was sharing her findings on shopping patterns and what customers want but what do I know? I’m the one who uses all the money-saving apps and she’s the one who built StichFix, a highly successful, multi-million dollar company.
Frustrated with: the bathroom walls. And the air conditioner. The landlords finally sent someone over to fix the ac only for it to stop working five days later. The outlets in the bedrooms all stopped working. Things are literally falling off the walls. The walls here are so poorly built that curtain rods, toilet paper holders and towel rods don’t stay up. We hired Carlton the handyman to hang the curtain rods and such up for us and when I was looking over his work he said, “Now remember. This rod is for towels, not hanging on.” I’ll remember that when I get the urge to practice for Cirque du Soleil after my shower.
Concentration camps. Assault. Frustration. This post is a real ray of sunshine!
Receiving: fun mail from Michelle. I got an alert saying my curtains had been delivered so when I saw a box on the deck that’s what I assumed it was. It was something so much better. Michelle sent me a royal wedding mug straight from Great Britain. I could not be more delighted. She knows the way to my heart!
Driving: to art camp. Our resident Norman Rockwell had art camp all this week. She spent several days last week very nervous as it was her first camp. She cried a few times because she didn’t want to go. She practiced her coloring so she could do a good job. She practiced wiping her own bum. We talked about introducing herself to the other children. I haven’t confirmed that she actually did talk to other children because she hasn’t remembered anyone’s names. She did give me a rundown of how many other girls were in the bathroom with her and how many times she stood on one leg so she shared all the important details.
We have to leave by 8:30 every morning which is a good hour and a half before my preferred time to leave the house in the morning. The first day she woke up at 5am to discuss the day. I am not a nice mom at 5am. At some point, she crawled into bed with me, fell asleep and we didn’t wake up until 7:59. I threw clothes on her, toasted a bagel and we rolled up to the art museum with 2.5 minutes to spare. There was construction going on in front of the museum so I had to find alternate parking after going down two one-way parking lots. Then we had to walk through a muddy field where AB took a sudden liking to examining clovers. She was one of the last ones to arrive but we made it. This does not bode well for next year when we have to be out of the house early to school.
Apr 18, 2018 | Currently, Uncategorized |
Eating: Toast topped with a piece of prosciutto, a fried egg
and a dash of parmesan cheese. It’s a huge step up from my typical breakfast of
oatmeal or cheerios.
Drinking: pool water ice coffee. The barista always forgets to put in extra cream but I shouldn’t complain. At least she hasn’t given me a cup with bugs in it this time.
Playing: Chutes and Ladders. I don’t mind most children’s
games but I wouldn’t be sad if this one died and never came back to life. Just
when one of us has finally made it to square 97 we get sent back to the
beginning. It’s never ending circle of torture.
Reading: The Light Between Oceans, Where There’s Hope and
Waiting for Birdy. The higher than normal number of books is directly
correlated to my efforts to spend less time on the computer. Back in ye olden
days of dial up internet and house phones I read all the time and I want to get back to that.
I could not put down The Light Between Oceans. It was
mesmerizing. When I finished I had a lot of
feelings about the fictional characters. I was very invested in their lives. I
seldom read two books about missing children at the same time, but I recently saw that
Elizabeth Smart wrote a new book. I have so much respect for her.
I don’t know if I could experience what she did and still live a normal and
fulfilling life. Waiting for Birdy has been some good comedic relief after
the previous two books. I agree with so much of what she says I swear she’s been in my brain.
Having feelings and opinions about: the upcoming royal
wedding (what else is new?). Yesterday I gave in impassioned
speech to my captive audience. He could not have cared less. He
doesn’t think the powers that be need my advice about the wedding which is a
shame because I have a lot of thoughts. He didn’t think my idea of sending them a nice set of beach towels for their tropical honeymoon was a good idea. I don’t know why I bother discussing these things with him.
Sad about: the passing of Barbara Bush. I’ve loved her for years. I spent several years corresponding with Barbara and George and they even sent us a letter when we got married. I am in deep mourning.
Disagreeing about: Spider-Man and super hero movies. Often
when C and I watch the same movie we see very different things. More
specifically, I notice 10% of what he does. I don’t want to work hard and
figure out detailed plotlines when I watch a movie. I want to be entertained
and not have to put on my FBI hat. I want words on the screen that says where
they are. Don’t make me guess if it’s Bangkok or Tokyo. We had a lengthy
discussion about an opening scene in Spiderman which I claimed was not clear
enough but Christopher insisted could not have been clearer. We had another
disagreement over whether or not aliens had been in a Avengers previous movie.
Christopher insisted they were but said he didn’t know when the movie came out.
I replied that the movie came out in 2012 when we were at Fort Lee. We rode to
the movie theater on the motorcycle, had to sit in the middle of a loud group
of superhero nerds and the fight scene went on so long I always walked out. He couldn’t believe I
remembered all that but forgot the aliens. I can’t believe I’ve somehow gotten so into superhero movies. I don’t even know myself anymore.
Discovering: our neighbors new pet, Twiggy. Twiggy is a
squirrel rescued during a storm last year. I’ve seen him hanging out in a cage
and I’m no vet but I’m pretty sure he has rabies. The parents, five daughters, one
uncle, one random friend, one hamster and four dogs all live under one roof. Personally, I wouldn’t add a squirrel to the mix.
Buying: a new llama air freshener for the car. I bought it at a little gift shop in town where I showed great restraint in not buying everything. The cashier asked if I wanted it wrapped and I said no. Then I changed my mind and said yes. My new thing is to always take advantage of free wrapping even if I’m buying something for myself. I love pretty things and it’s an easy way to make myself happy. The girl said she could fill out a gift tag for me then asked who the gift was for. I didn’t want to say I was having her waste paper on me so I said it was for a friend. (I’m trying to be my own friend.) Then she said. “Do you want me to fill out the tag or…” I froze. I didn’t want to tell her it was to Sarah, from Sarah. I almost said it was for Samantha. I don’t know a Samantha. I told her I’d do it later. She kept asking follow up questions and I got more and more uncomfortable that she was spending 8 minutes wrapping and curling ribbon on AIR FRESHENERS I was going to use myself. Then I couldn’t leave the store because I was pushing the wrong door. I should not take myself anywhere. After all that it doesn’t even smell nice. It’s sort of musky with a side of floral. You could say it smells like llamas in a field of roses.
Oct 8, 2017 | Currently, Sesame, Uncategorized |
* with help from my editor
Watching: Baby Einstein, Toy Story and Sarah and Duck. Do you yike the new Toy Story or the old Toy Story?
Eating: Yogurt is my favorite. I don’t yike olives. I yike peas, corn, and rice with peanut butter. I mean soy sauce! That’s so funny. Rice with soy sauce!
Reading: One Morning In Maine and Blueberries for Sal. At night I line up all my friends in bed and tell them we’re going to Buck’s Harbor, just like they do in the book.
Talking about: Japan, stingrays, soccer, what I want to be for Halloween, washing machines, the map of the world that’s round and talks about America (a globe). I yike to talk about crafts.
Planning: my garden next year. It will be a flower garden with seeds, carrots, coconuts and potatoes.
Earning: monies for my turtle bank. I dust the living room and do big chores. I clean the house. Sometimes I ask for monies after I make my bed but I don’t get any.
Going to: school. I yike the songs and the toys. I yike riding in the cars on the playground, crawling in the caterpillar and eating snacks. We sing the snack song and munch, munch eat a yittle bit. We dress the frog picture in his clothes for the day. I do his sunglasses and it’s so funny!
Favorite thing about Mommy: playing with her.
Sep 15, 2017 | Currently, Uncategorized |
Buying: matching Christmas pajamas for the entire family. I bought a Christmas ornament in Maine so I’ll be ready to party as soon as November rolls around.
Reading: First Women, the Grace and Power of America’s Modern First Ladies, by Kate Anderson Brower. Four stars. A thus far unachieved goal of mine is to be First Lady so I read everything I can about the position. I’ve offered my services to Melania Trump is she ever wants to take the day off but I haven’t heard from her yet.
Church of the Small Things by Melanie Shankle. Five stars. I’ve read Melanie’s blog for years and own all her books. They’re on my book shelf in the ”bloggers who write books” section. I really enjoyed her book on friendship but CotST might be my new favorite. I love how she writes about life with humor and adds bits of scripture and truth without being preachy.
“Deep down we struggle to believe God is going to lead us to what is best for us. It’s our internal voice that whispers we will never be enough, so we work and worry and feel like we must do something big, something huge to prove our worth and to make sure our life matters. We have to host a conference, starts a movement, adopt fifteen kids, or fight human trafficking to really matter. Which are all great things, but thinking this way can cause us to lose sight of the small things that can also change a life: bringing dinner to a sick neighbor, smiling at a waitress who’s having a bad day, reading to your kids before bed, and simply praying for someone going through a rough time.”
I love that quote because I always feel like I should be doing something more impressive with my life. I love listening to podcasts but sometimes feel so insignificant because these women start companies, build orphanages and flip homes while homeschooling their 10 children and feeding them a hormone-free diet. I can’t even remember to take the meat out of the freezer in time for supper. I’ve always said it doesn’t matter to me if my kids are famous (although an olympic figure skater would be nice) as long as they’re good, kind people who love others. If it’s true for Annabelle than I should believe it about myself too.
Googling: Do puppies lose their baby teeth? It came up in a book AB and I were reading and she wanted to know if it was true. Not being a veterinarian I had no idea. The world wide web says they do.
Excited/beyond sympathetic for: Kate Middleton. In case you live under a rock or simply don’t care about the life of the royals (like he who shall remain nameless but to whom I am married), you probably heard that Kate is pregnant again. I am beyond excited. I pay close attention to their goings on and am delighted there will be three royal children. I COULD NOT be more sympathetic to how she feels. I dealt with hyperemesis once and it took me more than two years to even begin discussing the possibility of having another child. Kate has been through this three times in five years. Unless you’ve thrown up 10+ times every day for months, been hospitalized for dehydration, too weak to take a shower and thought it a real accomplishment to keep down a quarter of a muffin in 24 hours you cannot begin to understand how she feels.
Writing: my autobiography. Before you roll your eyes, know that I have no plan of publishing my book. I do not live a highly interesting life nor am I a First Lady, but I do have stories I think would be fun to pass down. I don’t claim to be a grate a riter of stuf but maybe my great great grand daughter will enjoy hearing about how I embarrassed myself in aisle 16 of Lowes. My past writing career included the beginnings of an opera about a ruler (male), a stapler (female) and a kaleidoscope (male). The ruler and the kaleidoscope for fighting for the affections of the stapler. She couldn’t chose between the more boring yet straight and dependable ruler and the fun and flashy kaleidoscope. It’s exactly the type of story Shakespeare would have written. Needless to say that opera was never published.
Beginning to be embarrassed by: Annabelle’s questions about body parts. We were at music class this week and everyone was singing the counting song. Most people there didn’t know the song so it was a quiet group. Suddenly Sesame loudly says, “How do mamas nurse their babies? What part of their body to they use? Is it this part?” and she very enthusiastically starts patting my boobs. I have no problem with her wondering about nursing, but I don’t want to get into the mechanics during music class. Later we were sitting at the playground and she brought it up again. I explained it to her and she poked her nipple and said “Do they use a mipple?” NO FOLLOW UP QUESTIONS. I babysat a little boy today and she wanted to watch him use the potty. I did not allow that. I can’t deal with any more anatomy questions this week. “Mama, does he have a bagina?”
Being stared at by: this face. All day, every day. Never farther than 6” away.
Good thing she’s cute.
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