Oct 9, 2013 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
Edition: Not Much has Changed Since Last Week
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Some people (JENN) say I have no stomach so I purposefully stuck it out in
this picture. I am still pretty much stomachless. |
Size of baby: 31/2 inches or approximately the length of a lemon.
Fun fact: The baby now makes facial expressions. Quite coincidentally its mother makes many facial expressions because of how the baby makes her feel, but that’s neither here nor there.
Size of mother: According to everyone I talk to, “very small” and “Are you sure you’re pregnant?” Yes I am. Would you like to hear the laundry list of my current health issues?
What’s on the menu:
Worst part of the week: See answer from last week.
Best part of the week: This is not directly pregnancy related, but I believe our neighbors have a miniature pony. I was talking to Dad on the phone a few nights ago at dusk when I happened to look out the back door and see what at first appeared to be a dog running around their yard. After watching the dog (which really wasn’t dog shaped at all) for a few more minutes, I noticed it was prancing and then it did that little mane toss that only horses/donkeys do. I ran upstairs to find my binoculars bought when I wanted to watch the Canadians look at the birds of the St. Lawrence River, but they were nowhere to be found. Naturally this discovery has shot the exciting level of our neighborhood up by about 100,000. WE ARE NEIGHBORS WITH A MINIATURE PONY.
Then again, I’m currently on a lot of drugs so it may not have been a horse at all. It could have been a coke can blowing in the breeze.
Oct 4, 2013 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
Week 13: Edition This is Very Late
Size of baby: About 3 inches long or the size of a sweet pea.
Fun fact: Sesame better behave him/herself in there because he/she now has fingerprints and we can track all criminal activity!
Size of mother: In the words of the dentist after he peered intently at my stomach, “My daughter is due the same exactly time as you and she has way more of a belly!” Ok then.
What’s on the menu: Pringles, as always. I still haven’t had cravings for much of anything, much to Christopher’s disappointment. He really wants to run to the grocery store and buy me something at 11:30pm. I am eating a little more than I was, so things are looking up in that area. Whenever I go to Aggie’s I eat way more than I eat at home which leads us to believe Sesame likes her cooking better than mine.
Worst part of the week: Still feeling nauseous 92% of the time.
Best part of the week: No emergency room visits or iv’s! Even though I feel nauseous I’m not getting sick as much as the previous 8 weeks, so maybe there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Maybe.
Sep 23, 2013 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
Edition: We Took the Show on the Road
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| I removed the arrow from below the word weeks because there is no baby in my ankles. |
Size of baby: Just over 2”/ the size of a lime. (Never have I encountered such a difficult lime.)
Fun fact: Fingers and toes are opening and closing.
Size of mother: Our scale is at least 2lbs wrong so I don’t have a definite number, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we were down another pound bringing us to 120. I met a woman the other day who lost 30lbs in the first trimester.
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| There’s nothing to see when I’m standing so from now on I’m going to sit for weekly photos. |
What’s on the menu: What is this food of which you speak? I have a steady diet of one muffin a day mixed with a handful of Pringles and a smattering of fruit or vegetables. And I do mean smattering. The other day I ate all of six grapes.
Worst part of the week: I will spare you all the details of my second emergency room visit over the weekend. Last weeks visit did not turn out well but on Friday I had gotten sick no less than 14 times and could keep absolutely nothing down so we went to a different hospital in hopes of better treatment. We were in the waiting room for three hours during which time I discovered to my immense horror that green Skittles are now green apple, not lime. To add insult to injury! (I kept a VERY CLOSE watch on the availability of the only waiting room bathroom in case I needed to dash in there and announced I had no issues with going into the mens room if absolutely necessary because I refused to make a scene in public. I didn’t resort to that, thank the Good Lord, but when the times get desperate…). I got poked and prodded seven times before they found a non-collapsing vein for the iv. Like the Princess and the Pea, I have very tender skin so you can imagine the lovely shades of blue, green, and brown all up and down my arms. I know I said I wouldn’t share all the details (and I’m not! I’m really not!), but can we agree that the administration lady SHOULD NOT have chosen the moment when two nurses were on pokes 4 and 5 to come in and ask me nonessential information like my social security number and place of business? There I was, being a human pincushion and she’s standing there like we’re doing some sort of normal transaction at CVS. I am a very nonviolent person but I really wanted to smack her.
Best part of the week: I finally got my iv. Hallelujah and amen.
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| The paparazzi wanted a moment in the limelight. |
Sep 17, 2013 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
I told myself this would absolutely not turn into a pregnancy blog but here we are, five posts in a row about a pregnancy that has not felt like a walk through a field of wildflowers. I promise I will not do 500 reviews of baby products. If I had any exciting updates on my living room curtain situation to give you instead, I’d do so in a heartbeat.
Edition: Not too Much to See Here
Size of baby: 11/2”/ the size of a fig/the size of a golf ball (I’d never say a fig and a golf ball are the same size but what do I know?)
Fun fact: Taste buds are appearing and some bones are beginning to harden
Size of mother: Another pound down, bringing us to a grand total of 7lbs lost.
What’s on the menu: Still nothing interesting. I did manage to eat both pizza and chicken wings which is a step in the right direction and somewhat normal personish.
Worst part of the week: How much time time do you have to hear my latest sob story? Grab yourself a beverage because this could take a while. I decided it might be smart to hop over to the hospital for an IV to head off what I was certain was dehydration. When Christopher came home from the field Friday night, I told him that flashing lights filled my eyes one of the many times I got sick. He said that while the lights might have been pretty, they weren’t natural. We could have gone to the hospital Friday night but that would have involved me actually standing up and some things are too much to ask for. We went to the hospital Saturday morning looking for some relief and you know what happened? I was refused an IV. The nurse was very sympathetic and would have given me one, but the doctor (who looked like a prison warden), leaned on the side of the bed and told me I was fine (WOULD I BE IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM IF I WAS FINE?) and to start taking a different prescription. Then she pointed me in the direction of the exit. I read on the internet that hospitals can’t refuse pregnant ladies an iv, but apparently they can. Granted I didn’t read that on WebMD or another verifiable source, but chat rooms can’t lie! Everything on the internet is true! I left thinking some very unkind thoughts and I continued to think some very unkind thoughts as I sat on a bench outside waiting for Christopher to pick me up.
Best part of the week: I heard the baby’s heartbeat while at the hospital. Christopher had to leave to take care of his guys so he missed it, but the nurse gave me the little machine to hold up to my phone so I could record it for him. That nurse was so sweet. She deserves some chocolates that shouldn’t be shared with the doctor.
Sep 12, 2013 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
Yesterday my mother took me with her to do errands. She was feeling all powerful because A) she babysat Freddy and avoided being kicked in the stomach, and B) wasn’t feeling sick so the world was her oyster. She typically says she can’t do errands because of me, which I think is slightly unfair. All I do is float around in here and kick my long legs.
Lately errands, especially trips to the grocery store, don’t get done or they get pushed on my father. She recently went three weeks without grocery shopping. All my poor dad wants to do is come home from work, but at about 4:45 my mother starts sending text messages like, “Please pick up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store for supper. I don’t feel like cooking.” “What do you want for supper? I am feeling like death and will be avoiding the evening meal.” “I hear Panera makes good sandwiches. Maybe you should try one.” It’s getting slightly pathetic.
But back to yesterday. We went to Hobby Lobby which she insists on calling Hob Lob which I find so embarrassing. Usually she spends way too long in there, but we managed to get our spray paint and hair clips within a decent time frame. (She says it was because I was “making my presence known” and she didn’t want to “cause a scene in the sticker aisle”. There she goes- blaming me again.) We stopped to pick out a get well card for a man she knows who just fell out of a tree, and I’m glad she didn’t pick this one.
I may not get much social interaction here in Hotel Womb, but sending a card showing a man hanging upside down from a tree to a man who just fell from a tree seems just a little insensitive.
Next we went to Home Depot. My first visit to H.D. involved her standing precariously on a shelf so I was really hoping to avoid a repeat performance. (Note from editor: that was also the day I ate an entire pizza and loved every bite so clearly we’re talking about back in the day.) This trip she said she needed a mirror, not the whole frame with a mirror inside, just the mirror part. She already had the frame. She felt the need to explain this to two different employees in GREAT DETAIL. I think they would have understood perfectly fine without all the waving around of her arms to show what a frame is. She needs to think of her errands when planning her wardrobe because do you know what color her shirt was? Orange. And do you know what color Home Depot employees wear? Orange. She committed one of the unpardonable wardrobe sins. A lady waiting for assistance even pointed this out to her and I was OVERJOYED not to be seen during that exchange.
After all this running about, we had to stop at Walmart for grapes. She said I wanted grapes, but I don’t remember asking for any. We ended up leaving with a bottle brush to clean canteens, grapefruit juice, a potted mum, and a very questionable entree of “gourmet” chicken in a box. We were going to eat it for supper (when the father’s away the suppers around here are far from fancy), but she changed her mind and ate a rice krispy treat instead. Because I wanted one.
I will accept full responsibility for that one.
Sep 11, 2013 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
8 weeks
Edition: I Don’t Know What I Should Do with My Arms
Size of baby: 1/2” or approximately a kidney bean.
Fun fact: Arms began to lengthen and hands are now flexed at the wrist and meet over the heart heart.
9 weeks
Edition: We had Some Technical Difficulties with the Picture
Size of baby: 1” or a grape/gummy bear.
Fun fact: The heart finished dividing into four chambers, and the valves started to form- as did tiny teeth.
10 weeks
Edition: I Managed to Put on Makeup and You Can’t Even Tell
Size of baby: little over 1″, or about the size of a kumquat/ball of cotton.
Fun fact: Fingernails, toenails, and hair are developing.
Size of mother: 4-5lbs lost. (Let’s all be on the same page about one thing. How long I will continue to post my weight is up for debate.)
What on the menu: Nothing interesting, that’s for sure. This child looks down on almost everything I enjoy eating which is most disappointing. I was so looking forward to introducing it to food (my first great love), but it rejects almost everything. The child doesn’t even like oreos! ARE WE EVEN RELATED? Sometimes I think we can’t possible be when he/she has such a terrible attitude about fruit/meat/fried rice/vegetables/pizza/salad/olives/etc etc etc, but then I think about the fact that it’s inside of me so… It does enjoy potato chips which proves it has at least some of my genes.
Gender: Girl! I’m still a girl!
Worst part of the week (and the preceding five weeks): Nauseous/sick 92% of the time.
Best part of the week: Tie between seeing Sesame wiggling on last week and getting anti-nausea medication.
