Jun 17, 2018 | Uncategorized |
I’m about to discuss a whole week of life in one post so settle in and buckle up.
Last Thursday night Annabelle starting exhibiting signs (namely screaming) of a UTI. The next day I kept her home from art camp and brought her to walk-in hours at the doctors. He said he doubted she had an infection but if I wanted, I could take her down to the hospital for a test. I disagreed with his diagnose but he’s the one who went to medical school. My degree is only from Web MD. He wrote a prescription for an antibiotic just in case.
We had never been at the hospital so of course, we didn’t know where to go. The man behind the registration desk was not one for chit-chat about the weather or our weekend plans. I was reading the paperwork upsidedown as he highlighted the lines to sign and saw a word I didn’t recognize. “Aminor.” I thought it was a French word. Perhaps is was pronounced ahhh-me-nor. Then he turned the paper around and I saw that it said “a minor” as in “I am signing for a minor.” WHY AM I IN CHARGE OF A CHILD WHEN I DON’T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.
When we got to the lab bathroom, AB had the most epic meltdown about not wanting to pee. I wouldn’t want to either but she had to do it. I could not convince her to pee. She was crying and screaming and tears were pouring down her face. The nurses said we could leave and bring the pee back later. Sesame skipped out of the hospital as if we had just had a leisurely stroll through a garden center. A few hours later she peed in her pullup. She had several accidents since the night before so I put a pullup on for while we were out and forgot to take it off. How was I supposed to squeeze pee out of a pullup? She must have sensed my frustration (or maybe heard it when I said I was very frustrated) because she pulled out the little potty and went. So back we went to the hospital with a cup of pee. Several things then went wrong at the library and Walgreens so I rewarded us with munchkins and coffee. Eating my feelings since 1989.
Saturday we packed for our long awaited trip to Florida. I planned for us to leave early Sunday morning. We woke up that night not once, not twice but four times to the sound of Annabelle throwing up. The antibiotic was not gentle on her little stomach and she was so miserable. She lay on the couch all morning barely speaking which is how you know when she’s sick. I felt nauseous too but I couldn’t tell if it was because I felt been cleaning up vomit or because the stomach bug was about to bite. Thankfully she perked up by the evening thanks to zofran so I planned to try leaving the next morning. I packed a trash bag with towels, paper towels, changes of clothes and a cleaner. It was not my first rodeo. I’ve traveled with a vomiting child before.
The doctor called the next morning to say she did indeed have an infection. What a surprise! I knew it. My Web MD degree is valid after all. He called in a different prescription so armed with the new prescription and zofran we set off. No one threw up or had accidents.
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| “I think I look pretty fabulous. You do too, Mom.” |
We had the best time. We grew up so far from Grandma Connie that we only saw her once a year at most. This time we had her to ourselves for three afternoons and evenings. She is hilarious. She knows everyone in her retirement park and is the life of the party. We drove her golf cart up and down the streets stopping at her friends’ homes. Most of them are widows or widowers so much of the talk is about who likes who or who wants to be asked out by who. Grandma is happily dating Charlie from four doors down so she isn’t looking for anyone, as she frequently points out. She is part of Weight Watchers but doesn’t diet on Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday because she has standing plans with her friends and wants to eat what they’re eating.
In the morning while she was at work went to the pool or the beach. This is the first summer that AB will wear a lifejacket and float around on her own. What a game changer. I can float around on my noodle and not have her glued to my hip. A new swimming day has dawned.
It’s important to wear proper floation on land.
Jun 8, 2018 | Currently, Uncategorized |
Reading: The Choice by Edith Eva Eger. I read a higher than normal amount of books about WW2 so when I say this is one of the best books I’ve read from that time it’s because I’ve done my research. It is so, so good. She survived Auschwitz and became a psychologist promoting forgiveness, healing and compassion.
Listening to: The Happy Hour podcast. The most recent episode was with a woman who was a victim of a home break-in and assault by three men. I was home alone listening when I heard a banging on the door. I froze. The woman in the podcast heard banging before her house was broken into. I thought for sure my life was about to end. At least Annabelle wasn’t there to witness the end of her mother’s life. All I had to defend myself was a mallet and screwdriver. Spoiler: I’m still alive. It was only the AC repairman coming four hours early.
The How I Built This podcast. As someone who has 14 different business ideas, I like to learn from others who have grown successful businesses. I disagreed with one lady who was sharing her findings on shopping patterns and what customers want but what do I know? I’m the one who uses all the money-saving apps and she’s the one who built StichFix, a highly successful, multi-million dollar company.
Frustrated with: the bathroom walls. And the air conditioner. The landlords finally sent someone over to fix the ac only for it to stop working five days later. The outlets in the bedrooms all stopped working. Things are literally falling off the walls. The walls here are so poorly built that curtain rods, toilet paper holders and towel rods don’t stay up. We hired Carlton the handyman to hang the curtain rods and such up for us and when I was looking over his work he said, “Now remember. This rod is for towels, not hanging on.” I’ll remember that when I get the urge to practice for Cirque du Soleil after my shower.
Concentration camps. Assault. Frustration. This post is a real ray of sunshine!
Receiving: fun mail from Michelle. I got an alert saying my curtains had been delivered so when I saw a box on the deck that’s what I assumed it was. It was something so much better. Michelle sent me a royal wedding mug straight from Great Britain. I could not be more delighted. She knows the way to my heart!
Driving: to art camp. Our resident Norman Rockwell had art camp all this week. She spent several days last week very nervous as it was her first camp. She cried a few times because she didn’t want to go. She practiced her coloring so she could do a good job. She practiced wiping her own bum. We talked about introducing herself to the other children. I haven’t confirmed that she actually did talk to other children because she hasn’t remembered anyone’s names. She did give me a rundown of how many other girls were in the bathroom with her and how many times she stood on one leg so she shared all the important details.
We have to leave by 8:30 every morning which is a good hour and a half before my preferred time to leave the house in the morning. The first day she woke up at 5am to discuss the day. I am not a nice mom at 5am. At some point, she crawled into bed with me, fell asleep and we didn’t wake up until 7:59. I threw clothes on her, toasted a bagel and we rolled up to the art museum with 2.5 minutes to spare. There was construction going on in front of the museum so I had to find alternate parking after going down two one-way parking lots. Then we had to walk through a muddy field where AB took a sudden liking to examining clovers. She was one of the last ones to arrive but we made it. This does not bode well for next year when we have to be out of the house early to school.
Jun 1, 2018 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
AB: I really like the year 1926.
Me: Why?
AB: That’s when my imaginary brother Matt was born.
In the children’s room at the library
“Ok, everyone! I’m going to do a concert for you. Pay attention! Mom, do you want to come sing in front of everyone wif me?”
(Has she learned nothing in her four years? I do not perform in public.)
Me: Why are you holding Paige upside down?
AB: Daddy said it’s important to support a baby’s head.
When we got our new fish, Benjamin “Little Blue” Harrison
“Hi, little guy. I’ll give you a tour of our house. These are my dad’s drums. He’s pretty good at them. Mom doesn’t really like when he plays them.”
“I’ll get the frogs for you, Mama!”
While playing with Christopher
That is diabolical!
Mom?
Yes?
Mom?
Yes?
Mom?
YES? Don’t keep saying my name if you have nothing to say!!
Thirty seconds later.
Mom?
Yes?
Never mind.
May 30, 2018 | Uncategorized |
We took a little family trip for the long weekend/my birthday. Whenever we travel it’s always to see family which is great, but it means we seldom get to go anywhere just the three of us. We booked an airbnb in Macon, found a few things to do and away we went.
Our first stop was touring a Civil War home. I had doubts about AB’s ability to stay with the group and not break a vase from 1826, but she did well until the end. When the tour guide asked if anyone had any questions, she said “NO.”
Our little apartment was so perfect for the weekend. We had a kitchen, living room, extra room for AB to sleep and little brick porch to read and play on. I didn’t realize how loud Annabelle walks until she spent the weekend running across the wood floors and not caring one bit that someone was below us. If we had a dollar for every time we told her to be quiet we’d have enough for another vacation.
Annabelle unpacked her unicorn luggage and put all her treasured belongings on the shelf. She gave me several tours. “Here’s my game and my bows because I know you like me to bring them whenever I go somewhere. My water bottle and my game and my sunhat and my pajamas and my foam. That’s all. All my other things are in my writing desk.”
On Sunday we did a little church at home then went to a water park. AB and I had never been to a water park before but we loved it. It wasn’t a big place but it was perfect for us.
We went in the lazy river, the wave pool and were playing in the splash pad area when Christopher told me I had a hole in the bottom of my bathing suit. He said it wasn’t that big but of course, I immediately went into survival mode. I didn’t have my emergency sewing kit or shorts to put on over my suit. I could tell the hole was getting bigger but I didn’t want to spoil our fun on account of my old maternity bathing suit falling apart. I suggested one last trip around the lazy river. My butt would be facing the bottom of the pool and I thought I could rearrange my suit so no one would see a thing. I was wrong. Christopher and Sesame were in front of me and Christopher told me the hole, and my rear end, were visible. I had floated past multiple children and lifeguards. Christopher said it wasn’t that bad but ANYTHING SHOWING IS NOT GOOD. It wasn’t his backside flashing the whole place! I wormed my way out of the tube, threw on a towel and slunk out of the park. By that time the hole was roughly the size of an apple. I was so embarrassed. I can never go back.
We spent my birthday doing a little shopping. We are severely lacking in good stores in the hillbilly heaven where we live so shopping in real stores was a treat. Sesame Pie and I wore our matching outfits. We were shopping at Children’s Place and she saw green shorts that match mine. She was so insistent we get them for our “matching Mommy Sesame dates together.” I never say no to a matching outfit.
Christopher and Annabelle gave me such a nice birthday. They made me my favorite cake, Annabelle drew me an endless number of pictures and they gave me sweet gifts. One of the gifts was an interlocking mother/daughter heart necklace. They picked it out so we’ll always have something matching to wear.
May 19, 2018 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
Lately I’ve turned into a once a week blogger and it’s not how I like to operate. I’ve had nothing interesting to blog about but yesterday I added a new member to our family and that seems worth mentioning.
We got a llama.
Just kidding. It’s a fish but I wish it was a llama.
If was a very spur of the moment purchase. Generally, I wouldn’t suggest adopting something that requires care as a spur of the moment purchase but a fish is a fish. It doesn’t require potty training or make a mess painting. We’ve been wanting to get a new fish since our dearly beloved Millard T. Fillmore swam to his watery grave in December. For two years he survived multiple weeks of us going on vacation and not finding him a fish sitter. He survived half the bottle of fish food being poured on his head. He survived a little boy dropping a toy car into his tank. As soon as he heard we had to move he gave up on life. He died the night before he and Christopher were to begin the drive to our home.
(AB just licked the handle on the refrigerator door. I told her to wipe it off and she licked her hand and wiped the door. I meant with a towel, not an equally dirty hand.)
Yesterday we went to Target which took us three times longer than necessary because Annabelle stopped and talked to every mannequin. After that, we swung by the Hob Lob (Hobby Lobby) which happened to be near Pet Smart. We’d had a rough morning so I thought a fish would perk us up. When we bought Filmore AB was more interested in the dog toys than the fish so I choose him. Yesterday was a different story. She wanted to buy all the little decorations to put in the tank. She wanted a castle bigger than the bowl we were getting. When it came to choosing a fish, she said, “Oh, hi little guy! You’re so cuuuuuuute!” to them all. She wanted a goldfish. She wanted a neon fish. She thought we should get a cat bed even though we don’t have a cat. We finally settled on a red fish.
I’d like to introduce Benjamin “Little Blue” Harrison. He has the tiniest blue spot near his tail but Sesame zeroed in on it and wanted it included in his name.
He survived his first night in his new home swimmingly.
As for the rest of today, I’m in full preparation mode for the royal wedding in the morning. I will be watching alone but that does not dampen my enthusiasm. Lemon muffins in honor of their lemon lavender cake will be made. My crown will be polished and ready. I am 1000% ready to see my favorite royal, Princess Charlotte, walk down the aisle. For someone who has a history of only being partially on the Meghan & Harry train, I am fully onboard for this day of festivities. Good times are about to be had and I am here for it all.
Real life update- Annabelle just asked me to “make my jeans into paper.”
My actual life is not as glamorous as my imaginary Princess Sarah life.
May 15, 2018 | Uncategorized |
From the end of April to the end of May is a busy time for me. Our anniversary, Mother’s Day and my birthday are all within a month. That’s not to say it’s all about me right now, but it’s all about me.
My people started our Mother’s Day celebration on Saturday. They made me breakfast and Annabelle, who had already eaten breakfast, sat next to me saying, “Hi, Mom. Are you going to share? Do you like sharing? I’m kind of hungry. Can you share with me because you love me?” I guess she felt she should be rewarded for making me a mother.
Around lunchtime we went to a farmer’s market with my friend Amy and her husband. I know we live in a small town so I didn’t expect a farmers market like the one in Nashville, but it was even smaller than I was expecting. We could have done the whole loop in less than 10 minutes if AB hasn’t stopped at every booth, stared down the seller and said “Hello. Excuse me? Hello! HELLO!?!?” until someone responded. She doesn’t operate by the same blend in, don’t draw attention to yourself standards I do.
I did a few chores around the house in the afternoon because our maid, laundry lady and chef all decided to quit at once. It’s so hard to find good help these days. Christopher put together a picnic for us to eat at a new little park in town. It was the three of us, a group of kayakers and 30,000 of our tiny enemies- gnats. I don’t doubt that we all ate several gnats.
We had four years of wearing matching dresses on Mothers Day but it didn’t work out this year. I thought we had two options but neither of them fit her anymore. It’s really rude the way she keeps growing. By the time I figured that out it was too late to order anything. I drop the ball on most things in parenting but her wardrobe is seldom lacking. We coordinated instead.
During church, the pastor asked all the moms to stand. He then asked all the moms over 80 years old to stand up. Sesame looked at me and said in a loud stage whisper. “Moooooom! Stand up!!!” I know I’ve aged greatly in the last 4 years but aging me almost 50 years seems a little too much. Good thing she’s cute.
