Feb 17, 2019 | Currently, Uncategorized |
Rooting for: Chance the Rapper. I’ll be the first to raise my hand and say this is very uncharacteristic of me. I don’t like rap and wouldn’t recognize him if we were stuck on an elevator together. However, a few months ago I heard that he was taking a sabbatical to simultaneously read the bible and quit smoking. I’ve been keeping close tabs on his progress. The last day he gave us a no smoking update was back in December so I’m thinking that train may have derailed, but maybe he’s decided to keep that to himself. I’m concerned that he might never quit because two comments from that December 15th post about not smoking said “Smoke week instead, Chance. I got u some.” I guess he hasn’t gotten to the bible verse about bad company corrupting good morals yet.
Learning: first aid. We had first aid certification this morning as part of our foster care class. The lady demonstrated everything then had us go up two at a time to practice on the mannequins. She said to do thirty quick presses so I did. Come to find out I was pushing on the stomach and not the correct spot between the breast bones. In my efforts to resuscitate someone, I gave them a stomach ache.
Finishing: our foster classes. Today was our last class. We have one more home visit and medical record to get and we’ll be ready to go. We told them we can’t take a child until after a trip we already have scheduled in March but we’ll be certified soon. We have a crib to set up but beyond that the house is ready.
Don’t get any ideas about robbing our house while we’re gone. The guard cats have this place on lockdown.
Nervous about: foster care. There are so many things that could go wrong. Everything little thing has to be documented and there’s so much government involvement. It’s going to disrupt our family in a way a second biological child wouldn’t. We don’t know the age of the child, beyond requesting that it be younger than Annabelle, and who knows the trauma the child will have been through. Every week I left the class half glad we were doing it but kind of wanting to throw in the towel say thanks but no thanks, this isn’t for me. I don’t want to love a child for months then have to give it back to the birth parents. On the other hand, I feel strongly that it’s something we need to do so we’re going to try. If it doesn’t work out then so be it, but at least we tried. I read this on facebook and I want to plaster it on my wall.
Fostering – “I could never do that.” One of if not THE most common phrases I’ve heard when the topic of foster care comes up. It’s usually followed with “it would break my heart” or “I would get too attached.” I know a lot of people don’t really know what foster care is and I understand where that comment is coming from but I want to say something: THAT IS LITERALLY THE POINT… Will we get attached? Yes. Will it be hard? Absolutely. Will we grieve? Yes. But foster care isn’t for people who won’t get attached & won’t grieve…it’s for the people who will. Because that is what this and every child who is a victim of insufficient care needs- someone who will get attached, to love them like their own, and yes…someone who will grieve. The church needs to understand this-we aren’t called to attend services once a week and sing a few songs, try our best, pay our taxes and go to heaven when we die…that’s not the gospel. The gospel is NOW. Jesus’s message was, “The kingdom of God is here!” If you have a heart for the hurting and a passion to stand in the gap and advocate for the needy, but you’re afraid you “could never do that” I want you to think about where that fear is coming from…it’s the enemy’s plan to stop the kingdom of God from manifesting on the earth today- he uses fear to do it and it is rendering the church useless in our community. Don’t be afraid to grieve, be afraid of what will happen to these children if we don’t lay our lives down to love them.
-Alyssa Short
Binge eating: gobstoppers. I didn’t think I’d ever eaten a gobstopper before starting the classes but I put some down the last five weeks. Each table had a pile of candy every week and I would eat a gobstopper every time I got nervous or stressed. I ate A LOT.
Smiling about: AB’s school valentine party. She changed her mind last minute about which valentines she wanted me to print so we ended up a gluing a paper heart to the end of a pencil and calling it a day. I wanted to attach the pencil to a card that said “You’re the write friend for me” but she didn’t appreciate the pun. She was so excited I got to stay at school for a while. She also made sure everyone knew the decor I made were “lovebugs, not butterflies. I mean, I know they’re like butterflies but they’re lovebugs. My mom made them. They’re not dragonflies either.”
Feb 12, 2019 | Uncategorized |
Ever since the Daddy Daughter Dance last year, Annabelle has been talking about when she could go to another one. That day finally happened on Saturday.
I’ve been stuffing Annabelle into her 4T dresses so we could get the most use out of them, but none of them were worthy of the dance. She seldom makes a fuss about clothes, but she turned down the first three dresses I suggested. We finally agreed on this one and I love it.
Annabelle spent weeks planning how she wanted the day to go. Christopher would pick her dress (which she had already picked) and she would pick his tie. It was the sweetest thing to watch her as she watched him get ready. She adores him. That afternoon was everything I imagined years ago when I thought about having a daughter.
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| Nahall the tiger was a special guest. |
Feb 8, 2019 | Life, Uncategorized |
Every so often when something especially wonderful and unexpected happens, I add it to my mental list of the best days of my life. I call them my top ten days. In no particular order, here are six of my top ten days.
1. The day I told Katie I was pregnant. I had a little bib made that said something about Auntie Katie and mailed to her house. We were face timing when she opened it and I could tell by the way she started giggling that she was about to make the same announcement to me. We will never get over the fact that our due dates were three days apart. It will always be one of the greatest joys of my life.
2. The day Aaron and Elizabeth were born. I had been asking Mom for a baby for months. I was adamant the baby be a sister. In one day I not only got a sister, I got TWO babies. I was thrilled. I didn’t realize until years later how much extra work it was to suddenly have two babies when Mom was only expecting and prepared for one. All I knew was all my 5 year old dreams had come true.
3. The Spouse Spur ride. Shortly after we got married I joined Christopher at work for a spouse event. We got to ride in tanks, do an obstacle course and shot various guns. It’s still some of the most fun I’ve ever had.
4. The first Army ball I attended. I was so excited when Christopher invited me to a ball a few months after we met. I had no idea what to expect but I knew 1000% I wanted to go. I wore the bridesmaids dress for Daniel and Erika’s wedding (I don’t think it would fit over my thigh today) and Christopher paid for me to get my hair and nails done. I felt so special. Growing up, Elizabeth and I kept a running list of soldiers we saw. We didn’t live near a post so we didn’t see them often but we were always on the lookout. The ball was the first time I went on an Army post and out of habit I almost remarked to Christopher that I saw soldiers. No kidding. That’s like pointing out grapes at a vineyard. Thankfully that was during my shy phase when I didn’t say much to him so I didn’t humiliate myself.
From another day on that same trip. This was the day Christopher asked what I wanted my engagement ring to look like. Let’s not forget this was only the third visit we’d had since meeting.
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| Look at those young kids! |
5. The day Daniel told me Erika was pregnant with Ivy. It is not an exaggeration to say I was more excited about her impending arrival than I was when I discovered I was pregnant. Daniel called to say they wouldn’t be able to go to our cousin’s wedding in April “because Erika will be too close to her due date to travel.” I thought I misheard. Surely he meant a date she was due to close on a house at work. I asked for confirmation. “What kind of due date?” “Erika’s. She’s having a baby girl in May.” I screamed and started to cry. I waited YEARS for them to have a baby. I had been planning their baby shower since they got engaged. I even had a personalized baby gift for them for that long. I was beyond thrilled. I instantly went to the store and bought a bib that said “my aunt is my bff.” I told AB, who was only two at the time, that Auntie Erika had baby Ivy in her belly. I asked if she loved baby Ivy and she said, “I yove fried rice.” I appreciate her food enthusiasm, but new babies top even fried rice.
They didn’t tell anyone until she was past seven months pregnant then Ivy was born a month early so I only had to wait about eight weeks for her arrival.
6. Josh Groban and Josh Turner concerts. Several years ago, Josh Groban was coming to a city near us and I so badly wanted to go. I didn’t have the money for a ticket so I resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to go. The day before the concert, Andrew surprised me with two tickets. I wasn’t expecting it and to this day it’s one of the best gifts I ever received. We sat next to the aisle about 10 rows from the front. At one point Josh walked down the aisle next to us as he was singing and momentarily held my hand. I repeat, WE HELD HANDS. It was one of the best moments of my life. If the security guard hadn’t pushed him along I might have proposed.
Jan 31, 2019 | Sesame, Uncategorized |
Yesterday I went with Annabelle’s class on a field trip to the grocery store. It was not a hotspot destination like the pumpkin patch in the fall. I was talking with a few moms on the playground the day before and the general consensus was no one wanted to go since we all go to the grocery store all the time, but hey needed parent volunteers so I said I’d go. It was very much like a scene from The Hunger Games when everyone salutes the poor soul going to fight. All the playground moms wished me luck but were clearly relieved they didn’t have to go.
The children looked like a row of little green ducks wandering around the store.
It went much more smoothly than I expected, bringing 21 small children into Publix. Everyone was well behaved and only a few boxes of oatmeal were pushed over. I immediately went into full-on teacher mode. Being around a large number of children brought me right back to my teaching days. I didn’t mean to, but I told a little boy to stay in line and told another to pay attention. I totally forgot I was the parent and not the teacher.
In other school news, I signed up to do the class Valentines party. Since the beginning of the year, I was the only one signed up which was fine with me. I have pinterest boards for such a time as this and quite frankly I didn’t want to compromise on anything with someone who might not have the same love of themed straws and coordinating napkins. Last week Victoria’s family was guilted into helping out. I was there when the whole thing went down but didn’t say anything lest they think I’m a difficult and/or rude mother. The teachers gave me Victoria’s grandmother and nanny’s phone numbers so I could make plans. Yesterday I ran into the woman who brings Victoria to school in the hallway which seemed very providential since I hadn’t yet called either of the women. I didn’t know if she was grandma or nanny. I wasn’t sure if nanny meant babysitter or nanny as in another name for a grandmother. She was an older woman so it really could have gone either way. That’s why I said, “Are you…? I mean, hi. Are you Victoria’s grandma? Nanny? The nanny? I’m doing the party with you and…the other woman. Um, are you either of those people?” CALL ME SMOOTH AS SILK. She looked at me like I was crazy (legitimate thought), threw her hands up in the air and said, “I’m just the nanny, call Grandma and plan it with her. I can’t do any of this.” Great talk! I’m so glad I embarrassed myself for this.
I finally got in touch with Grandma Denise this morning. She’s traveling in from another state for the party which I’m taking as a good sign we’ll work well together. I appreciate someone dedicated enough to throwing a good party that they’ll travel across borders to attend.
Jan 27, 2019 | Uncategorized |
I don’t like blogging about myself. It makes me squirm and feel very uncomfortable. Technically this whole blog is about me but if I think about that too much it makes me want to shut the whole thing down. That’s why it’s taken me nearly four years to discuss an award I received.
Starting around age 18 I began working towards the Congressional Award. To quote the website:
The Congressional Award is the United States Congress’ award for young Americans. Our Foundation remains Congress’ only charity. The program is non-partisan, voluntary, and non-competitive. Young people may register when they turn 13 1/2 years old and must complete their activities by their 24th birthday.
Participants earn Bronze, Silver, and Gold Congressional Award Certificates and Bronze, Silver, and Gold Congressional Award Medals. Each level involves setting goals in four program areas: Voluntary Public Service, Personal Development, Physical Fitness, and Expedition/Exploration. Earning The Congressional Award is a fun and interesting way to get more involved in something you already enjoy or something you’d like to try for the first time. You move at your own pace – on your own or with your friends. This is not an award for past accomplishments. Instead, you are honored for achieving your own challenging goals after registering for the program.
For each of the four categories, I had to complete a minimum number of hours. The point is to set goals and achieve them over several months so the participant becomes proficient in the chosen areas. It’s not a race to get it all done is a couple of months.
For physical fitness, I (for some absurd reason) decided to take up running. I must have had a lack of judgment when I made that goal. We lived at Fort Lee for 4 months and I made the goal of running a mile nonstop before we left. I know that a mile is nothing for most people, but for someone who hates running, it took a lot of discipline to get up and train myself. I had to get to the track before the sun rose and scorched everything. I wanted to quit 7,000 times but I stuck to it and finally ran a mile in just over 9 minutes. I haven’t run a mile since but I’m proud of that one mile. I did run to the mailbox which is the equivalent of a marathon.
The other physical fitness activity was zumba. I felt so self-conscious when I started, but now I love it. I’ve always hated doing things in front of others, but zumba has helped me be more confident. I still do zumba whenever I get the chance. I did it two days ago and was the youngest person by a good 25 years. I thought maybe I wandered in the zumba silver class by accident. I did something like 300 hours of zumba and running.
For personal development, I learned sign language and how a production is put on by learning how to be a stage manager for two musicals. I knew NOTHING about how stage productions but I studied and learned along the way. It helps that I like things color coordinated and alphabetized so keeping all the props in order came naturally to me. The first show was Ebenezer (aka The Christmas Carol) with 22 scenes. The second was Babes in Toyland with 6 larger scenes. Both shows had over 20 actors. I still talk with fondness about my time as a stage manager. Frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t also win an Tony Award for Best Production.
For expedition/exploration, I planned a camping trip. This was the easiest of all the categories. I had been camping several times growing up but had never planned everything myself. Mom and the twins came with me to Pocahontas State Park in Virginia for a week-long camping extravaganza. Elizabeth got sun poisoning and Mom got a mysterious rash so the infirmary was bursting which was an issue I had not foreseen.
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| Our little cabin in the woods. |
For voluntary public service, I did community service projects with a girls club, and volunteered at to children’s hospital and preschool weekly. I did the hospital and the school for about five years each and logged almost 900 hours.
The gold medal ceremony is held in Washington DC. Recipients are given tours of local attractions and it’s very exciting, very fancy time. I was so so close to getting the gold medal. I worked so hard for years and went beyond the number of hours in all categories. I sent in all the final paperwork a few months before I had Annabelle. I knew the ceremony would be shortly after I had her but I planned on bringing Mom with me so I could still go. I still remember the man from the awards office calling to tell me that while I had done more than enough hours in every category, I had done one in less than the required time. I knew I couldn’t start up again since I was so close to having the baby and would age out of the program in three months. I laid on the bed and sobbed. I felt like I had done all that work and failed because I hadn’t reached the top level. When Christopher came home I told him and started sobbing again. I still get disappointed when I think about it.
In March of 2015 I went downtown to City Hall for a small bronze and silver medal ceremony with the US Representative. I held Annabelle the whole time because I didn’t know what else to do with my hands. The newspaper was there and quoted me as saying, “I like working with preschool kids anyway, so it was just a good opportunity.” The ONE time I’m the subject of an entire article and that’s the best I could come up with?! No one will slap that onto an inspirational poster or cross-stitch it onto a pillow!
The next Sunday at church, multiple people stopped me to say they saw the article about us. The pastor said he meant to mention it from the pulpit (I would have died) but he forgot. I’ve never felt so famous. I should start preparing my acceptance speech for when I finally get that Tony award.
Jan 24, 2019 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
I’d like to cordially invite you all over for a visit. I washed all the windows and I don’t think they’ll be this clean for another 12 months. I need someone to appreciate them while they’re sparkling.
We’re still on the hunt for a new church. Church hunting is one of my least favorite activities. We found a church we loved almost instantly after moving here. We had several good months there but unfortunately, there was a nasty split and we found ourselves without a church. We tend to be on the more conservative side but we’re open to visiting more modern churches. The church we picked this week was the most modern of the modern. On their many tv screens they had the following announcement- “if our worship gets too loud, please use the complimentary earplugs.” I knew right then it wasn’t going to be our usual conservative Baptist service. That’s when they cranked up the ol’ smoke machines and the band bounced out onto the stage and the lights started flashing. I expected disco balls to lower from the ceiling.
Annabelle LOVED it. She was clapping and dancing like a born and raised Pentecostal. For most of the service I didn’t have to remind her to be quiet. No one could hear themselves think, let alone hear her comments about the “fun church.” I’m not putting down how others worship God, but we prefer a more subtle approach.
On Saturday we took the first of five foster care classes. I always said I’d NEVER do foster care. I didn’t want to fall in love with a child only to hand them back. I’ve always wanted to adopt and planned on staying in that lane. However, within the last year or so I had a change of heart. We have space, we have all the baby stuff and we have some extra love we can give. Until we’re able to have another baby of our own I couldn’t come up with a good reason why we shouldn’t help out. That doesn’t mean I won’t cry when I get overwhelmed, but that happens anyway. After hemming and hawing and lots of delaying, we finally signed up for the certification classes. Normally I don’t like to be out of the house before 8:30 on a Saturday morning but there we were, out of the house at 8:25 going to a foster care class I never envisioned myself going to.
After the class we picked AB up and played miniature golf.
It was Sesame’s first time golfing and her form was much like mine before I went to golf camp.
Yes, golf camp. I didn’t go because I wanted to be the next Big Thing in golf. I went because when Grandpa retired he helped design a golf course for inner-city children. The first summer the course was done they held their inaugural week-long golf camp so Daniel, Andrew and I all went. I wasn’t a great golfer. My swing to actually hitting the ball ratio was something like 557 to 2. I’m sure I still hold the record for worse golfer ever to appear on their green. But that didn’t stop me from sharing my wealth of knowledge with Christopher and AB. I made sure they both knew how to hold the club and applauded my hole in one. It did take me 7 tries to get the ball into one hole but who’s counting?
