Apr 14, 2019 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
When we last spoke, I was patting myself on the back for having nary a blemish upon my criminal records.
Pride goeth before a fall because the very next day I accidentally stole a bottle of rosehip oil from TJMaxx.
I had looked at multiple bottles and couldn’t find the particular one I had decided on. After buying things I didn’t need, I got into the car, reached into my purse for gum and saw the bottle of oil I had been looking for. I wasn’t going to drive away with it, but I wasn’t sure how to sneak back in the store without looking suspicious. It was one of the few times I’ve wished I had Annabelle with me during a leisurely shopping trip because it would have been easier to say she carried out. Yes, I wanted to blame my child! It would have been so much easier than the current situation I found myself in which was I had put the bottle in my open purse instead of the cart. I’ve been shopping on my own for decades but suddenly I don’t know the proper place for unbought items? Who would buy that story? I slunk in like the criminal I was and pretended to be looking for my keys while I stuck the bottle back on the shelf. I’m sure it was all caught on security camera and it will follow me around for the rest of my life along with my spot on the Walmart watch list.
Yesterday morning we went to a Native American festival/powwow. We went with our friends and she suggested we go Friday while the school kids were in school. What we failed to consider was the school kids being in school meant the school kids would be at the same park, going to the same powwow as us. We didn’t realize this until it took us 30 minutes to get through the front gate when it normally takes 4 minutes.
I hadn’t been to an indian festival in several years and learned quite a bit. I learned that, according to one man knowledgable on the topic, the terms indian and native American can be used interchangeably without offending the people of that culture. Annabelle enjoyed seeing how the indians made something useful from each part of the animal they had hunted. Every time someone walked by dressed in traditional garb, she’d grab my hand and loudly say, “THOSE INDIANS ARE SO SCARY.” That’s not the kind of thing you want to be broadcasted when more than half the people there were indians.
The ballet recital season is really ramping up. We have extra rehearsals and are constantly being asked to spend money on photos, ads, etc. Today was the first day to buy tickets. Ticket sales started at 9:45 and when we showed up for the 10:05 rehearsal, parents had already been in line for more than 30 minutes. A lady walked around, assigning numbers for purchasing tickets. Everyone was comparing numbers to see would get their tickets soonest. Some people waited over an hour for tickets to a kids recital. You would have thought it was Black Friday. The seasoned moms studied the seating chart like it was a textbook. All us new moms looked at each other and said it was ridiculous. At this point, we’re more invested in keeping our girls from getting runs in their tights than getting seats A1-12. It’s not a big theater and no matter where you sit you can see the stage. I want a good seat but not at the expense of being trampled by over-dedicated dance moms.
I’m pleased to report that I paid good American cash money for the tickets. None were accidentally stolen.
Apr 9, 2019 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
I just returned from a trip downtown where I almost died.
That’s a little dramatic but welcome to my life!
I got lost getting there because I took what I thought would be a shortcut. It was not. Instead, it was a lengthy trip through the shadiest parts of town. A homeless and overly enthusiastic man came up to the car as soon as I parked and kept knocking on my window. I don’t mind giving to the homeless, but I don’t appreciate when they’re knocking on my window asking for money and I have to pretend that I can’t roll down the window because it’s broken. I mimed that the window was broken and I didn’t have extra cash for several long minutes until he went to bother someone else on the other side of my car. I watched like a hawk until he moved then grabbed my child and my purse and dashed into the building. I made sure my favorite lipgloss was in my purse so I’d still have it in case my car was stolen while we were in the office. I need my lips to look good when answering police questions!
I was downtown filing paperwork because I am now a working woman. I say working in the loosest definition of the word. I got a VERY parttime job working at a make-your-own wooden sign studio. It fills the creative void in my life and usually I work when Annabelle is at school so I don’t miss out on much time with her. It’s only a few hours a month, about 15, but I feel extremely professional. I haven’t made money in so long I feel like a millionaire.
Actual footage of me leaving the studio.
The studio sells wine and beer during the night classes so I had to get an alcohol distribution license. Practically overnight I’ve become a working woman and a bartender which is not something I could have predicted at the beginning of the year.
The city had to do a background check and the results came back within three weeks. The foster care people also needed to do a background check and even though we submitted it in January, we’ve heard nothing but crickets. They’re doing a very thorough check. I have a squeaky clean record so I’m pretty sure they won’t find anything, but who knows what might pop up. Maybe they found out about the ONE time I accidentally walked in the out door at the grocery store. I’m such a rule follower I had to go back out the door and walk in the correct door. Maybe they found out that I’m almost on the Walmart watch list. I was told by a sale associate at Walmart that I can only return one more item without a receipt before I’m put on their watch list. I asked what that was and she said they’ll watch me closely and not let me return anything. She could have been kidding but she was VERY serious and frankly, I don’t want to find out the hard way that she was being serious. I felt like a criminal and I didn’t even do anything wrong! If I go to prison I’ll find a way to keep blogging about life on the inside.
The other big news around here is that for 48 hours we had a very small pet turtle. I found him while walking around the pond while Annabelle was at school. I walked by it at first because I thought it was a plastic toy turtle, but when I picked it up it wiggled its feet in protest. Back in the day, I would have thrown the turtle back into the pond, but I knew AB would like it so I brought it home. Motherhood makes you do weird things. Had there been a sign saying not to bring turtles home I would have left it but since I wasn’t breaking any rules, off I drove with the turtle in a plastic container. I used some of my precious alone time making a suitable habitat for the turtle. I don’t know much about turtles beyond what I picked up from the turtles in Finding Nemo, which means I know little to nothing. But I gave him some water, rocks and twigs and in short, created nothing less than a turtle heaven.
I was so excited to Annabelle to see him when she got home. I didn’t have time to give a “treat him with gentleness” speech before she picked him up and waved him around. I don’t doubt that he got seasick. As they sing in The Band Perry song, he was the centerpiece of her obsession for the next couple of days. She changed the water numerous times, let him wander a few inches from his home and tried to feed him fish food. We tried a few names but nothing stuck until the name Gluten Free. She said, “It’s shell looks kind of like pizza, the way it goes up on the edges. But not a regular pizza crust. Like, a gluten free crust.”
I didn’t want to keep Gluten Free as the cats and Martin VanBuren the fish keep me plenty busy (not to mention the various diseases he might be carrying), but he was fun for a few days. We were going to bring him back to his pond but he wandered off into the yard, never to be seen again.
I hope “lost poor, innocent baby turtle” doesn’t end up on my permanent record. That and the Walmart watch list would really push me over the edge into criminal activity.
Mar 26, 2019 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
I started this post seven days ago. Every time I try to finish it, I hit a wall at the corner of boring and dull. In the last 10 years of blogging, I’ve hit that wall many times, but it seems like I can’t put myself back together this time.
This morning I said to myself “I hope I didn’t leave my keys in that store.” I thought this as I was sitting in my running car at a traffic light. In case you’re wondering, I’m firing on all cylinders over here!
* Last week we visited with Christopher’s family in West Virginia. I’ve driven through but never spent any amount of time in the state before now. We stayed in the capitol the first night and I can’t say I would want to live there. As I was paying at CVS, the cashier looked at me and said, “Stay safe out there.” I’m going to assume he doesn’t work for the tourism board because no one will be slapping that on a billboard at state lines. Turns out he was right because the next day we almost got mugged.
Annabelle had the best time with her cousins, especially the girls. They played together for hours and she loves sleeping in the same room as Emmy. It was so cute to see them all bouncing around.
We went to a children’s museum and AB learned how to change a tire. I hope she’ll do all the work if I ever need her to because changing tires isn’t something I can do. Speaking of changing tires, you know how many cars have the spare tire in the back? I was getting something out of my trunk recently and I lifted up the floorboards and found bags of craft supplies I didn’t unpack from when we moved here 14 months ago. I’m not proud of it but if they have a home under there why move them? It will be easier to keep them there until the next move than try and find a spot for them in the house.
* The week we moved in I painted AB’s room yellow. I printed bird pictures for the walls, made a bird mobile and put a large stick over her bed and hung little cloth birds off it. It was fine. I didn’t love it but it worked. For the last few months when I rocked her before bed, I’d think about changing it up. I wanted to buy a chandelier but Christopher was not on board. I’ve been campaigning for a chandelier since I was pregnant but so far no chandelier has appeared. Lucky for me, the traditional 15th anniversary gift is crystal so I just have to stick it out for seven more years!
I didn’t want to repaint the entire room so I spent many a minute on pinterest looking for easy ideas. My time on pinterest is probably directly related to how far behind I am in laundry. I ordered a tree wall vinyl. I bought four fake branches from HobLob to create a suspended branch situation over her head. These are the things that happen when I have nervous energy! It was getting a little out of hand. In the end, I painted her dresser white, printed new bird pictures and called it a day. I like it so much better.
* I am trying so hard to not become a cat lady, but sometimes I take the cats outside on a leash so I think that ship has sailed.
One cat will sit on the windowsill and watch the cat who is living in freedom outside. There’s always a lot of meowing and scratching at the window until I give them a turn. This has started to backfire because Lucy thinks anytime the door opens is an invitation for her to run out. We were late for school last week because she got out the door. Annabelle is not helpful in these situations. I was holding my purse, the keys, my phone, library books to return, a bag of Walmart returns and my water bottle. I didn’t have an extra finger, let alone an extra hand to grab the cat. AB had nothing but her backpack on her back and a small toy in her hand. “Oh dear, Mom! Lucy is out! Catch her, Mama! Catch her! Don’t let her run away!” It didn’t occur to her to help catch the cat. We got Lucy in but Linus ran out. We got him and AB didn’t shut the door fast enough so Lucy ran out again. I finally got her to school and I swung by DD to get an iced coffee. I dropped it before I had a chance to take more than a few sips and the cats were more than happy to help with the clean up.
Sesame has started making comments about the gender of the cats thanks to the clear view provided by their frequently upright tails. At the same time, I’m been having conversations with her about modesty and privacy. Last night I made a comment about Lucy walking like a lady and Sesame said, “That’s because she’s keeping her privacy tail down.”
Jan 24, 2019 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
I’d like to cordially invite you all over for a visit. I washed all the windows and I don’t think they’ll be this clean for another 12 months. I need someone to appreciate them while they’re sparkling.
We’re still on the hunt for a new church. Church hunting is one of my least favorite activities. We found a church we loved almost instantly after moving here. We had several good months there but unfortunately, there was a nasty split and we found ourselves without a church. We tend to be on the more conservative side but we’re open to visiting more modern churches. The church we picked this week was the most modern of the modern. On their many tv screens they had the following announcement- “if our worship gets too loud, please use the complimentary earplugs.” I knew right then it wasn’t going to be our usual conservative Baptist service. That’s when they cranked up the ol’ smoke machines and the band bounced out onto the stage and the lights started flashing. I expected disco balls to lower from the ceiling.
Annabelle LOVED it. She was clapping and dancing like a born and raised Pentecostal. For most of the service I didn’t have to remind her to be quiet. No one could hear themselves think, let alone hear her comments about the “fun church.” I’m not putting down how others worship God, but we prefer a more subtle approach.
On Saturday we took the first of five foster care classes. I always said I’d NEVER do foster care. I didn’t want to fall in love with a child only to hand them back. I’ve always wanted to adopt and planned on staying in that lane. However, within the last year or so I had a change of heart. We have space, we have all the baby stuff and we have some extra love we can give. Until we’re able to have another baby of our own I couldn’t come up with a good reason why we shouldn’t help out. That doesn’t mean I won’t cry when I get overwhelmed, but that happens anyway. After hemming and hawing and lots of delaying, we finally signed up for the certification classes. Normally I don’t like to be out of the house before 8:30 on a Saturday morning but there we were, out of the house at 8:25 going to a foster care class I never envisioned myself going to.
After the class we picked AB up and played miniature golf.
It was Sesame’s first time golfing and her form was much like mine before I went to golf camp.
Yes, golf camp. I didn’t go because I wanted to be the next Big Thing in golf. I went because when Grandpa retired he helped design a golf course for inner-city children. The first summer the course was done they held their inaugural week-long golf camp so Daniel, Andrew and I all went. I wasn’t a great golfer. My swing to actually hitting the ball ratio was something like 557 to 2. I’m sure I still hold the record for worse golfer ever to appear on their green. But that didn’t stop me from sharing my wealth of knowledge with Christopher and AB. I made sure they both knew how to hold the club and applauded my hole in one. It did take me 7 tries to get the ball into one hole but who’s counting?
Oct 23, 2018 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
 |
| Never met a goat she didn’t love. |
 |
THEY HAD A PEN FULL OF BUNNIES WE COULD WALK AROUND IN.
I WAS IN HEAVEN.
Notice AB’s hand on my shoulder. She has to be touching me at all times. |
 |
| Two of my favorite things- a bunny and my baby. |
 |
You’ll be shocked to learn that the white pumpkin with carefully placed silver glitter was not made by Christopher.
I know everyone had him pegged as a glitzy guy. |
Oct 16, 2018 | North loving, southern living, What's going on |
Hello!
We’re alive and came out on the other side of the hurricane only slightly worse for the wear.
We knew the storm would hit sometime Wednesday so I spent most of Tuesday preparing and debating whether to evacuate or not. If I didn’t have Annabelle to worry about I would have stayed without much thought, but they were predicting the power would be out for days and that can be miserable with a 4-year-old. Had the powers that be announced we needed to evacuate it would have helped. It was being in the middle and having to decide for myself that I didn’t like. I’m a rule follower and like being pointed in the right direction. You say evacuate and I ask how far. I was worried leaving would make me a wimpy northerner. I was worried staying would make me irresponsible. After several phone calls with my mother in law and more texts with my advisory group, we ended up staying. Immediately after making the decision I second guessed it and yes, it is very exhausting to me in my head.
I did all the laundry in the house, filled up the tubs, cleared out the closet to use as a tornado shelter and got out every candle we owned. I stocked up on nonperishables and water bottles. Christopher did the same and brought home more food than we eat in three weeks. We still have so many packages of lunch meat and loaves of bread we could feed the county for months. Most important, we had hurricane chips and chocolates to see us through. We were as prepared as we could be.
 |
| Watching the storm roll in with a snack in hand. |
It started raining around supper time. By the time 8 o’clock rolled around the wind was howling and things were banging around. I HATED that it happened at night. Not only did I want to see what was being damaged, I wanted to fully experience my first hurricane. I could see nothing but darkness. The power kept going in and out so we lit all our scented candles and the house smelled like the little perfume stores at the mall. When the power went out for good we went to bad. At that time Annabelle decided it was too scary in her room so we brought her mattress into our room. She had the beginnings of a cold so she sniffled and snuffled all night. Christopher snored all night. I was as fresh as a drowned mouse the next morning.
We had some siding off and branches in the yard but we didn’t have one bit of real damage. We were so very fortunate. The neighbor’s side yard and our backyard are the same piece of land and they had several trees down as well as a few broken windows. All around us homes and cars are damaged and wires are down. It will take some people months to recover. We prepared to be without power for days but ours came back on within 20 hours. Several friends didn’t get power back until yesterday. I think God went easy on us because we’ve already had a tough year.
Due to our status as one of the only families in our friend group with power, we issued an open invitation for anyone to come to take showers. On Sunday we went to church and helped serve dinner. Not many people showed up but I’m glad we tried to help.
All in all, we had some siding down, some branches to clean up and a few extra wrinkles and gray hairs from stress.
