Aug 26, 2014 | Sesame, Uncategorized, What's going on |
It’s hot here. Really, really hot. Like, 184* with humidity of 1200%.
Have I mentioned that our air conditioning has a mind of its own and only works half the time?
Sometimes all we can do is sit in a mini lawn chair in the middle of the living room and look out the window, longing for a day when we will live in a state where no one melts .6 seconds after walking out the door.
The heat has lead to lots of naked time for the baby. “Heeeeeeey, Mom!!!!”
“I’M PEERING INTO YOUR SOUL. Do you have any food hidden there? When’s my next meal? Do you like my eyes? I’m hungry.”
Yesterday it was so hot I couldn’t even take her swimming in our hot tub on the face of the sun kiddie pool on the deck. The next best activity was entertaining herself by putting Honeypot on her head.
I prefer that activity over her latest development- rolling from her back to her stomach, OMG I cannot handle it. I’m not sure whether to curl up the fetal position because she’s growing too fast or because I’m dying from heat stroke.
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| “Did somebody say lunchtime?” |
Aug 12, 2014 | Sesame, Uncategorized, What's going on |
I haven’t had much of interest to discuss lately. If you want to hear how the never ending crisis in the middle east in impacting the socioeconomic scene, I suggest you leave asap. If you want to hear how Sesame lays on her back on her play mat and rotates herself around in a full circle by swinging her legs then you’re at the right place.
* I packed up Annabelle’s preemie clothes and the smallest of her newborn clothes this week. I may have cried. What happened to my little ball of squish with the wrinkly face?! How can I get her back?
Sadie understands how I feel.
While we’re on the topic of clothes, Sundays outfit was a home run. Ruffle socks AND a pair of my beloved baby shoes. Fun fact: last month these capris were pants. I’m taking advantage of skinny minnie to getting every single wear I can out of her newborn clothes.
* I called the doctor to make Annabelle’s four month appointment and very confidently told the receptionist that her name is Allison. When I realized and corrected myself VERY enthusiastically, all I heard on her end were crickets. It was very awkward.
* I hate calling the doctor for every little sniffle and cough the baby has. I’m really trying to promote the fact that I’m not a hypochondriac when it comes to my child’s symptoms, thank you very much. And yet we’ve been to the doctor three times in the last five weeks. For some reason I assumed Christopher operated under the same policy. He does not. I found this out when he asked the doctor something about AB’s poor leg circulation (which was a perfectly fine question) and followed it up with “We want to be sure we aren’t putting her diaper on too tight.” And just like that my ego shattered into a million pieces on the exam room floor. The part of me that has changed 12,416 diapers over the years shriveled up and died. This office will never again think I have things under control if they’re concerned “we” don’t know how to put diapers on properly.
* I recently started doing zumba again. Unfortunately nightly klondike bars do not a flat stomach make so I go to zumba and dance in the best way my white self can. At my old zumba I was the best white lady there. I was also the only white lady. This is a zumba toning class so everyone has two little (and I do mean little) 1.2lb weights that make noises when you shake them. I bring 2lb weights because if I can’t be the best white lady there I want to be the heavy-weight champion of the class. I was really proud of holding that position for a whole week until I went to the class last night. I was doing my “warm up”, aka swinging my arms around in random directions, when I saw myself in the mirror. I looked just like Michael Phelps swinging his arms around before a race and you know what I comment on every time I see him about to swim? How ridiculous he looks. You know who I’m not a fan of? Michael Phelps. I was humbled. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and eat 12 klondike bars.
Jul 21, 2014 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
- We had a rollicking weekend. I didn’t get out of my pajamas until 12 on Saturday and even then I only upgraded to sweatpant-material capris. Annabelle didn’t make it out of her pajamas until 2 o’clock and that was only because we were going out. We went to our favorite yogurt place and discovered they now have happy hour every day between 2 and 5. Guess where I’ll be every afternoon from now on. We had pizza for supper and I didn’t even bother getting a healthy vegetable for a side because:
also:
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Annabelle decided to stay awake for 10 hours straight on Saturday. That’s what I get for boasting about what a good sleeper she is. I’m not a violent person, but if anyone had so much as dared to make a noise by moving their little toe after I finally got her asleep at 11:22pm, things would have gotten mean.
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I’m sewing Annabelle a dress. You can expect it to be done sometime around September of 2016.
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I have been getting a number of unexplained bruises on my legs. I haven’t talked to a doctor about them, just come up with 14 possible reasons for said bruises and given myself 30 days to live.
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Sometimes when we put our hand put in front of her face Annabelle will high five it with her hand. I am so proud because I feel like that means I’m doing a great job. Then I think about the fact that she frequently has her middle finger sticking straight up and my pride gets knocked down about twelve notches.
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Over the course of our wild weekend we played ‘Would You Rather Be?” Generally it takes Christopher .3 seconds to answer and he seldom second guesses himself. I gave myself gray hairs trying to decide if I’m rather be a closet or a bureau, a pumpkin or a squash, a barber or a locksmith, a tropical vacation or a mountain vacation. WHAT IF I ANSWER WRONG? What if I say I’d rather be a blanket than a pillow when I should have said the opposite? No need to tell me I’m off my rocker. I’m fully aware. (For the record, I’d rather be a rocking chair than a couch.)
Jul 4, 2014 | Holidays, The Humiliation Chronicles, What's going on |
The other day Annabelle and I went to pick up a few things at Publix. The following conversation took place between me and the boy bagging the groceries:
Him: Do you want me to push the carriage* out to the car for you?
Me: No thank you, I’m fine. (I’m all for boys being gentlemen but I didn’t have any spare cash for a tip.)
Him: Are you sure? I don’t mind.
Me: Oh, we’re good.
Him: It’s not a problem.
Me: I can do it but thank you anyway.
I then proceeded to crash the carriage straight into the neighboring cash register and almost run over people entering through the exit door. Just call me Grace.
* Carriage/cart/buggy. Toemayto, toemato.
To add to the awkward experiences I’ve lived through lately, when the pastor at church said to me “I’ll tell Chris too”, I stared at him for 48 minutes trying to figure out who this Chris person was. Don’t mind me. I’m just the person who doesn’t recognize her husband’s name when she hears it.
So that’s been life around here. In other words, it’s business as usual.
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I am so excited about Annabelle’s first 4th of July. Fourth of July is right up there with Christmas when it comes to my favorite holidays. We made an American flag with her footprint. Feel free to send us a Pinterest Parents of the Year Award.
To round out this hodge podge post, and because I’m procrastinating about cleaning the bathroom, I present the following photo. This is the face of someone who slept from 9:30pm-6:30am, partied for an hour then went back to sleep until 10:30.
This is how I felt about Sesame’s sleep accomplishments:
HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE!
Jun 23, 2014 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
Overcome and saddened by the fact that I found a dead ant inside my closed container of Cool Whip. How did the ant manage to walk fast enough that it made it into the refrigerator before the door was shut, climb up to the second from the top shelf and into the cool whip?!
Not caring one bit about the World Cup.
Uncomfortable in dressing rooms. Years ago I saw an episode of Oprah about people putting cameras in hotel room bathrooms and in my young and impressionable mind that translated to CAMERAS ARE EVERYWHERE THEY SHOULDN’T BE and I’ve felt uncomfortable ever since.
Trying to convince Christopher to read this book. He says he won’t because it’s “too emotional”.
Put down whatever young adult fiction you’re reading about vampires and pick up this book. It is so so good. Don’t come back to me after you read it complaining about how I should have told you it’s also sad. I don’t feel the need to point that out because if you’re reading this you can read the subtitle. After you read it:
1. Look them up on facebook (It’s VERY IMPORTANT you’d don’t jump the gun and do this before reading it.)
2. Come back here and discuss it with me. I need someone to talk to about it since Christopher won’t touch it with a 10 foot pole.
Debating whether or not to buy white shorts. They look cute on others and in my minds eye look cute on me, but when I try them on (in a dressing room no less) all my concerns about white shorts come back to me. I’m guaranteed to spill something on them when I’m in public and have no other clothing available. Or I’ll chose the wrong color underwear and everyone will know. Either way it’s a lose-lose situation.
Wondering whether the storm outside is a regular thunderstorm or a tornado. Christopher is always telling me to go in the closet under the stairs in the event of a tornado but it would be a real bother to go there only to find out this is a regular thunderstorm. On the other hand, it would be unfortunate to discover this is a real tornado and I’m still sitting at the kitchen table. Why is life so complicated.
Feeling like the Duggars because I bought a 15 roll pack of paper towels.
Tickled to have found this onesie for Annabelle.
I’ll have to get her a polka dot bow to match.
Jun 11, 2014 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
On Sunday I wrote an entire post about our weekend in my head. It was interesting, funny, and witty. When I wrote it out yesterday I got six sentences in and decided it would be more interesting to read furniture assembly directions. I was going to try again today but I spent 62 (SIXTY TWO) minutes in the waiting room at the doctor’s and another 24 waiting for her to come into the exam room. I was not at all happy to lose an entire afternoon of my life sitting around that office. When we finally made it home I tried swatting a fly with a burp cloth but missed the fly and got Annabelle in the forehead. In other afternoon discoveries, for anyone wondering if it’s possible to get your toe stuck in a small hole in the comforter on your bed when you’re trying to step around the baby sleeping in her bed and fall flat on your face on said bed, IT IS.
That’s why I’m here today with nothing but a handful of unrelated pictures.
Another bad storm blew through on Saturday night. Naturally we were at an outdoor concert when it started. The silver lining was a fantastic sunset.
My garden is growing! I planted these flowers in March. I’m glad to see they’re finally getting with the program.
Every day Annabelle and I go out to see how things are progressing. The neighborhood rabbits (Frederick, Margaret, and their offspring Curtis) ate both my cucumber plants and were starting on my green beans but I nipped that funny business in the bud. They haven’t been interested in either my tomatoes or peppers.
I don’t know that I’ve mentioned it before, but I have a baby.
Her cheeks get bigger every day.
My heart goes out to those who don’t have a baby this cute.
