Jun 5, 2014 | Sesame, Uncategorized, What's going on |
Last night there was a tornado warning in our area. I didn’t know about it until I was in bed and Jenn texted me about it from Korea. It makes total sense that someone on the other side of the world would alert me to the weather in my town. I normally check the weather 12 time a day but it’s said “rainy with a chance of t-storm” for 8 days now so I stopped paying attention. I made a mental list of which essentials to grab in case we had to take shelter under the stairs:
1. water
2. Annabelle’s bows
3. my Channing Tatum scrapbook (I’M JUST KIDDING, CHRISTOPHER! I don’t have a Channing Tatum scrapbook. I have a Josh Turner scrapbook.)
Other than the tornado things have been pretty quiet around here. I take that back. The other day I was cutting Annabelle’s fingernail that’s approximately half the size of a ladybug and I accidentally cut her finger. There’s was blood, lots of screaming, AND IT WAS VERY TRAUMATIC. To add insult to injury, the next morning I took her to the doctor where she got two shots. We She had a tough 24 hours. At least she looked cute getting the shots. She has a great stylist.
Every morning after I’ve stuck her pacifier back in her mouth to buy 18 more seconds of sleep, I feed her then let her play on the big bed. She kicks around for a while, smiles, and tries to laugh.
Except for getting her nails clipped and being stabbed in the leg she lives a very relaxed life.
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| I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love her tutu skirt. |
May 6, 2014 | Sesame, Uncategorized, What's going on |
Well, this weekend was just riveting.
If you call a misidentifying cows as horses to your impressionable child and two boycotted nap times riveting.
Apparently there was enough of a nap time for me to take 12 pictures of the baby in various almost-identical potions. This happens to me all the time. I’ll take one picture because she looks sweet then OMG SHE MOVED HER LITTLE FINGER ISN’T THAT PRECIOUS so I take another forty-four. There is something wrong with me.
Our friend was scheduled to return home from his deployment on Saturday so I picked the most appropriate outfit I could find for Annabelle. As these things go, the homecoming was rescheduled to midnight which I deemed too late to go out with the baby. Cue much sorrow and sadness on my part and no emotion on her part. We make our fashion choices but the Army decides if they shall indeed be worn.
Here’s Little Miss America all dressed up with nowhere to go.
I know it’s a blurry picture, but this was her face when I told her I hope she doesn’t have a career that involves wearing a bikini and heels while walking across a stage. I’m in favor of a career with more clothes, like a professional skier or scuba diver.
You get this picture for free.
No charge for this one either!
Her mouth is in a different position so I had to take another picture. OBVIOUSLY.
Saturday night we went out for our anniversary. Unlike our first post-baby date we did not go to Lowes for firework and an ax although the romance in that place is oozing. We got dressed up and went to a fancee restaurant in the next town over. The Kentucky Derby was on and I spent a (probably annoying) lengthy amount of time discussing how I wanted to go to the derby, what I would wear and what I would name my horse. Then the race happened and just like that it was over. Am I the only American who didn’t know the race is only one lap? Seems like a lot of work for an event you might miss if you get up for a refill of nachos and cheese.
Sunday afternoon I left the baby to watch Christopher Christopher to watch the baby while I went out on my own for a while. I went to the bookstore than found myself in front of a rack of cute capris at a clothing store. I’m currently smaller than maternity pants (one would hope) but slightly larger than my normal pants size which leaves me with very few options. The good from deciding to eat an apple and peanut butter with lunch (healthy!) was probably destroyed when I decided to mix cool whip in with peanut butter so I don’t know when I’ll get back to my normal pants size. Cool whip is too good. There was a point to that story but now I’ve lost it.
(Skipping the part of the weekend where we became THOSE parents in Walmart with the screaming baby.)
Yesterday Christopher asked if I wanted to played tennis with him. I’m terrible at games involving flying balls so naturally tennis is right up my ally. I looked like a drunk donkey the entire time. It was a beautiful look for me. I’m sure Annabelle would have taken 44 pictures if she could have. Or she would have been so embarrassed she’d have fled the scene.
May 4, 2014 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
1. The following have done nothing but irritate my OCD tendencies.
* I cannot for the life of me attach this shade to the car window so that lines up perfectly with the top and bottom of said window. I’ve tried it 14 different ways and failed 14 different times. I’d have a conniption if I had to sit next to that window.
* Mom and Elizabeth visited last week and someone loaded the dishwasher like this. I can’t even.
It meant using 34 precious seconds during nap time but I had to rearrange it. I stopped short of categorizing the silverware.
2. I enjoy the royals as much as the next person (as long as the next person isn’t Christopher). Everyone knows Kate and I are BFF’s which was once again proven by the fact that we both dressed our children in stripes on the same day.
(There’s a new show called I Wanna Marry Harry coming to a television near you. I have so many things to say about it but I can’t find the right words. Are American women the only ones gullible enough to believe Prince Harry would be on a reality dating show?)
3. Last week I went to the doctors for blood work. I stopped at the restroom as we were leaving because if there’s ever a time I’m guaranteed to need the bathroom it’s when I’m stuck in traffic and things get desperate. I wanted to be proactive and nip that issue in the bud. I hung the diaper bag on the door hook and put my very full, very thick plastic water bottle on top of the toilet paper holder to my left. For some reason the toilet paper holder was about three feet higher than normal but I didn’t think anything of it. I was going about my business when all the sudden something attacked my left shoulder. I was so startled that I fell against the opposite wall which caused the diaper bag to swing and hit me in the head. I was sure someone was kidnapping me and poor Sesame would grow up never knowing her mother. I don’t even have a will and how would Christopher know who to give my collection of unopened lip gloss to if I died there on the 8th floor? I didn’t see anyone else in the stall when I entered but in Spider Man he attaches himself to the ceiling above his unsuspecting targets so SURELY that could happen in real life. Then I looked down and saw my water bottle rolling away. I had been attacked by my water bottle. The only scrap of dignity I left the bathroom with was the knowledge I hadn’t screamed at the water bottle.
4. I’ve been trying to decide what I’ll do when the doctor tells me I can start exercising. I briefly considered running again but then decided that was a ludicrous idea.
Amen and amen.
Mar 27, 2014 | Army life, What's going on |
Last week I mentioned that the tv show Nashville was coming to film on Fort Campbell. Rumor has it they’re here all week but yesterday was the day they were filming a concert that the general public could attend. And by general public I mean Department of Defense card holders only which, not to boast or anything, but I happen to be. Three years later and I still like whipping my card out and pretending I’m all fancee and important.
I almost didn’t go because 1) I didn’t want to go alone and 2) my self-imposed scheduled departure time was in the middle of my afternoon nap. I purposely didn’t schedule myself to go in the morning because I didn’t want to interfere with my morning nap. (My life is already being scheduled around naps.) I decided to go anyway because I’m always talking about my big acting career taking off and it’s not going to take off if I lay in bed all day.
On a good day it takes about 20 minutes to get to Fort Campbell which means that leaving at 3:50 and allowing for time to get through the gate etc. etc. I should get there around 4:20ish. I looked up which gate the filming was near before I left and when I saw it was near the stables, I actually said, “That looks easy enough…if I’m trying to get lost.” Every time I go to the stables I get lost. Does anyone have an idea where this story is going? I went down the wrong roads because I don’t expect anything less of myself and was stuck on multiple long roads for no less than 60 minutes. I was about ready to give up my acting career for good when I found the airfield where they were filming. I got there 90 minutes after I left home. And I live 20 minutes away.
That right there is dedication to my desired profession. Or the fact that I was driving on roads that had nowhere for me to turn around.
A few thoughts on my big acting debut:
* I didn’t anticipate seeing much of the main actors in the show, but most made an appearance at one point or another.
* Christopher didn’t accompany me as he can think of 4,118 things he’d rather do that be on camera, but that didn’t stop me from texting him periodic updates.
Rayna James’ boyfriend is much skinnier in person than he looks on tv.
Teddy’s hair is just as good.
I didn’t recognize Juliette because she’s wearing more clothes than usual.
He really loved living vicariously.
* I’ve never considered myself a big fan of Hayden Panettiere (who plays one of the main characters), but she stole someone’s baby and carried him around for a good 10 minutes which immediately bumped her up in my book. Anyone who steals a strangers baby has the potential to be a friend of mine. (Please note that contrary to how it sounds, I am NOT advocating kidnapping. By steal I mean temporarily borrow and return. No one call the police on me.)
* At one point we had to watch a video of Michelle Obama giving a speech. I don’t mean get all political, but we were instructed to cheer after it and I didn’t follow those directions very enthusiastically. I know actors have to fake it sometimes, but I was mostly cheering for her very nice highlights.
* I would like someone to put me in contact with the shows hairdresser. There are some things that are not just movie magic and the hair in this show is one of those things.
The chances of actually seeing myself on tv are slim to none and honestly, that’s probably just as well. I was having some major issues with my shirt not staying down and they didn’t send the wardrobe people over to help me out. But on the off chance that I am seen on the big screen, I’ll be here for the rest of my life to sign autographs.
Mar 25, 2014 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
As Sesame’s D-Day rapidly approaches, I made a long list of things I’d like to do before his/her arrival. Allow me to share a few items on the list:
Email the property manager about the leaking sink
Go to the post office
Email the property manager about the hot water heater not working. Again.
Make laundry detergent
I’m really LIVING IT UP these last days of freedom and solitude.
Speaking of living it up, one of the biggest mysteries of my life was solved last week. Back in October I became convinced that our neighbors have a miniature pony. I only saw it one time but I spent MONTHS of my life looking into their yard for any proof that I am not, as some people who will remain nameless have stated, going crazy. I even convinced myself that the pony lives in their little shed.
Well.
Last week I was doing something at the sink and what to my wondering eyes did behold BUT THE PONY. I sprang into action and moved faster than I have moved in months. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that this isn’t my first potential sighting of the miniature pony rodeo. I have pinpointed the best location in the house to see into their yard. I am aware of how incredibly nosy this sounds, BUT I HAD TO SEE THE PONY AND GET PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE. I’m not ashamed to admit I opened the window and made some noise in an attempt to get the animal to move.
I am exceedingly sad and so disappointed to report that it isn’t a pony after all. It’s just a really really REALLY weird looking dog. What kind of dog has a mane? What kind of dog gallops like a horse? I should have gotten a video of it moving because it is extremely horse like. I guess I’ll have to find something else to do with my time now that The Great Miniature Horse Mystery has been solved. Too bad most of the houses surrounding ours are vacant and don’t have people to spy on.
Mar 21, 2014 | Army life, What's going on |
I don’t want to sound overly presumptuous, but is it too much to ask that all the electrical outlets in my house work? I’m particularly thinking of the outlets in the kitchen that refuse to cooperate and charge the ipad. How can I play my midnight game of Scrabble if I can’t charge the ipad? How can I beat the ipad if it’s dead? If it’s dead how can I charge it when the outlets don’t work? It’s really becoming a vicious cycle.
I like most holidays and am always open to a reason to decorate/celebrate accordingly. I plan on dressing Sesame in holiday appropriate outfits as much as possible. That being said, St. Patrick’s Day does NOTHING for me. Why does everyone and their mother all the sudden pretend they’re Irish for that one day only? Where’s the holiday where we all celebrate Italians and Portuguese? I really don’t get it. I was under the impression I was all of 4 drops Irish which I don’t feel is enough to celebrate, but Dad reminded me his grandfather came over from Ireland so that makes me what, 1/8 Irish? Maybe? More 4 than drops. For the record, I have nothing against the Irish. God bless the Irish and the fact that their holiday makes corned beef go on sale.
Speaking of corned beef, I had to visit the commissary yesterday which everyone who’s associated with the military knows is basically tied with Christmas for being the best time of the year. I went during what I have narrowed down to the As Golden As It’s Going to Get Hour and it was surprisingly calm. Except that someone moved all the gluten free products across the aisle from the pads, the shampoo across from the ice cream and the bread was nowhere to be seen. Possibly a first world problem but I live in a first world country and I wouldn’t mind being given a map when the layout of the store changes.
I’m debating growing my bangs out again. This debate has gone on for the last 12 years and frankly I don’t see it ending before I die.
The biggest drama since it snowed 2” is about to hit Fort Campbell. The tv show Nashville is coming to film an episode on post. Guess who’s planning on being their next big star.
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| I’ll be the only one who doesn’t look like my life is being ruined by fame and fortune. |
Besides the international recognition I’m sure to receive, the hair and makeup team I’ll be given will probably solve my bang dilemma.
