Oct 14, 2013 | Holidays, Sesame, What's going on |
Thursday I called my midwives office. Again. These people are going to get so tired of me. I can’t help it if I want ALL THE DRUGS THEY CAN PROVIDE and continually need refills. The nurse was out of the office so I left a message asking them nicely to please call my local Walmart at their earliest convenience and hook me up with the good stuff. (The dissolving tablets! Not the ones that require water!) I am terrible at leaving messages. I hate it. I don’t particularly enjoy making phone calls either so it’s a lose-lose situation. (Side story- our Sunday School class had to call people who had visited our church within the last year and I was so petrified of a. someone actually answering the phone and b. being forced to leave a message that I procrastinated for three weeks and only allowed myself to take my anti nausea medication after I called someone. All this to say that I really need to pull myself together and start acting like a grown up.) Anyhow. The nurse’s answering machine beeped and I said, “Hello, this is Sarah MAIDEN NAME.” And then I paused for about 12 seconds while I tried to figure out if I really just said that. Then, of course, I started giggling uncontrollably. So I had to backtrack and say, “I don’t know why I said that name. *giggle giggle* That’s my maiden name and my current last name is _________. *giggle giggle* I’ve been married for almost three years and….never mind. I was wondering if you could call in a refill for me. *giggle giggle* “
As if they’d give me more drugs when I couldn’t even remember my last name.
***
I had an exciting Columbus Day weekend planned for us- we were to go camping in a cute little cabin a few hours away. I talked about it for weeks and was thrilled about the whole thing. And then the government shut down and I received and email saying, “We regret to inform you that we receive government funds and we will be closed for the unforeseen future.” If the government only knew how much time I had dedicated to planning the menu and envisioning midnight walks under the stars, they never would have DARED to close. Yes, I am still bitter about the whole thing in case that’s not glaringly obvious.
Instead of frolicking through the woods, we went pumpkin patching. I heard about a farm that sounded wonderful, so we drove 57 hours only to discover that it was the same farm Jenn and I went to last year. Unlike Columbus, I am not talented at finding new locations.
Look at the size of the girl below in comparison to the size of the pig. He could eat her for a snack.
My great goal in life is to own two donkeys and name them Stella and Gus. What can I say? I have lofty goals.
Thank goodness for the sign identifying the cow. I never would have known it wasn’t a rabbit!
We played a round of golf right next to the cow pen. I feel Tiger Woods has done the same thing many a time. I’d release the score but it would show that I lost by 12 points.
After church today we went to a different pumpkin patch to buy pumpkins. We didn’t ride down to the pumpkin patch at the first farm because somebody felt sick (same story, different day), so we bought some today. We also went in the corn maze. Notice I didn’t say we completed the corn maze. We wandered for 45 minutes and I began to worry that we’d be stuck in there forever and Sesame would be born under the shade of a cornstalk. We never found the exit and had to exit through the entrance.
What I’m not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to pay $4 to put myself in a situation where I knew I’d get lost. I’ve proven myself perfectly capable of getting lost of numerous occasions and I’ve never paid a cent for it.
Oct 10, 2013 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
Last week I found two new white hairs sticking out of my head. Not gray hair, bright white hair. I’ll look like Mrs. Claus by the time Christmas rolls around. Every time I find a white hair it sends me into the depths of despair.
To add insult to injury, my 2013 AARP membership card just came in the mail.*
I will be spending my weekend researching antiwrinkle creams.
* I’ve been a member since 2010. I have no idea how I got on that list.
Oct 2, 2013 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
* The government has shut down and my Selah cd is on it’s last legs. I’ll leave you to guess which caused me more emotional turmoil at 3:37 this afternoon.
* I was recently reading the paperwork from my last hospital visit and discovered that I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum. Let’s ignore that I didn’t read the paperwork for 5 days and focus on the fact that Kate Middleton also suffered from the same condition. I’ve always said we’re practically BFF’s/twins, but I wouldn’t have minded not sharing this bonding experience. That being said, if she’d like to share her closet with me, I’m more than willing to participate. Can we also wonder for a moment why the ER doctor didn’t tell me I had a diagnosis? (ps. It’s frightening to google side effects of HG. I don’t recommend it.)
* The government shutdown means that after today, the commissary will be closed for an undetermined time. The parking lot looked like people were stocking up for the apocalypse. It’s like no one has ever heard of Walmart, Kroger, or our friendly neighborhood Publix and everyone was trying to buy the last loaf of bread in the state.
* Several months ago, UNDER PROTEST, I became treasurer of our FRG. I had no desire to deal with government funds and possibly be charged with misappropriation and bad record keeping. Best leave that to the professionals. I went to the horrible class and then proceeded to do absolutely nothing for the next six months as our FRG was lacking in both morale and enthusiasm. In what can only be explained as unexplainable, the leader decided a few months in to very unceremoniously remove me from my position because I “was never able to attend events”. There was only one event. It’s not like I even wanted to be treasurer, but I didn’t appreciate the way the whole thing went down. Not that I’m still bitter about it or anything. We now have a new leader who called me up a few weeks ago and asked if I still wanted to be treasurer. I replied in the negative. I retired. I jumped ship. I felt so free. The first meeting with the new leader rolled around and she said we’re having a bake sale at the motor pool. I offered to make muffins. She looked at me with puppy dog eyes and said they cannot have the sale unless they have a treasurer to keep track of funds. Apparently I’m the only person around with treasurer certification and unless I agreed, she’d have to cancel the sale and our very limited funds would stay at very limited. She only needed me this ONE time. So I agreed to stay on until they find a new treasurer. WHAT ELSE COULD I DO? I am unable to say no. We have a chili cookoff fundraiser next week and who do you think is doing treasurer duty? I cannot escape.
* I had to drive into Nashville for an appointment today and I have some serious issues with Nashville drivers and how they use the road. I like to think of myself as fairly capable to driving in a city. I’d drive in Boston any day. But drivers in Boston don’t suddenly decided to turn the farthest right lane into a parking lot whenever they so please. There I was, minding my own business in the farthest right lane when I noticed that on the other side of the intersection, the right hand lane suddenly because a parking lane and everyone driving in the right lane had to merge with the already crowded left lane. This is the second time I’ve dealt with this issue. IN WHAT CITY DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? Yet another thing I do not understand about the south.
Sep 3, 2013 | Sesame, Uncategorized, What's going on |
Friday was our first doctor’s appointment for the baby. I have never seen anyone so excited about an appointment as Christopher was. He went to Gap and bought a new shirt specifically for our baby doctor date (we turn everything into a date) which was just about the cutest thing ever. I mean the fact that he bought a new shirt was the cutest thing ever, not the shirt itself. Although that was nice too. I think we need to move on.
Normally being in an examining room will send me into fits of giggles. I cannot help it. You understand the problems this causes at the dentist. I warned Christopher of this before we got there but I think I managed to control myself pretty well. To be honest the fact that the midwife brought up the English show Call the Midwives when we were at the midwives in a room with an English intern did strike me as funny, but I remained composed. I’m excited about the baby and all, but I didn’t want to come across as giggling mess at my first appointment. These people are going to be all up in my business and I want to remain professional. Just when I was patting myself on the back for my stellar demeanor, the midwife finished her speech about genetic testing and said, “So you guys can decide about that and get back to me.” And I almost said, “Get back to you about what?” because I was too busy patting myself on the back to hear everything she said. Good thing the father of the child/my scribe was there. And to think he asked if he should stay in the waiting room!
We go back tomorrow for an ultrasound to determine various things, among which many babies are in there. If they say three, Christopher will die in his chair and I will die laughing.
The only exciting thing (and this is really stretching the definition of the word exciting) to happen Saturday was we hung up new curtains in our living room. You may recall that last week I spent an hour of my life I can never get back in the Target curtain section. Turns out my careful measurements and package readings were in vain because look what we discovered when we put the curtains up.
They’re at least 14” too short. Not to mention that the rods are about 3” too long on either end.
Our living room is coming together beautifully!
Aug 30, 2013 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
I wish I had some exciting news or interesting tidbit to share, but I don’t. I mean, I’ve already used the “I’m engaged! I’m married! I’m pregnant!” lines so I feel like I’ve almost peaked in the area of life’s big moments.
Yesterday I bought some curtains.
What’s sad is this really was a big moment because I had been talking about buying curtains for the last three weeks and four days and I finally did it. I had a surge of exhilaration after finally going grocery shopping the day before and felt like I COULD DO ANYTHING which is how I found myself in the Target curtain section. You know what’s overpriced? Straight pieces of colored fabric that hang on a rod over a window. You know what I bought eight of? Straight pieces of colored fabric that hang on a rod over a window. The whole time I kicked myself for not being at the fabric store buying fabric at a fraction of the cost to make my own curtains. Then I remembered the washing, cutting, ironing, cutting, stitching, taking out of stitches, measuring, stitching, etc etc etc that goes into sewing and I got overwhelmed. I can only handle so much these days and trying to eat ranks slightly higher than handcrafting a masterpiece to adorn my living room windows.
Avoiding a kick in the stomach is also high priority these days. You wouldn’t think that would be a concern from someone who does not have a marital arts career, but it is VERY HIGH UP THERE. Every week I watch baby Freddy and every week he kicks me in the stomach. (Can we all agree that saying, “Are you ready, Freddy?” is infinitely more gratifying to say to a child named Freddy than to a child named, for example, Thomas? “Are you ready, Thomas?” just don’t have the same ring.) I can hold the child in 52 different positions, but each time he A) starts crying and B) connects with my stomach. I finally found a good position (no crying! no kicking!), but it gave Freddy the golden opportunity to play with the beads on my V neck shirt as well as happily pull on the shirt to peer down at my chest. I realize he’s only 6 months and all, but I’m trying to preserve whatever small amounts of modest I can in the coming months. I told Freddy that next week my outift will probably consist of a tshirt and he immediately started crying. Like went from laughing to bawling in 3.6 seconds. I don’t even know what to say about that except maybe his parents should start being concerned that he’s upset about not being able to peer down a lady’s shirt.
And to finished up this hodge-podge of unnecessary information, the special bracelets I bought in attempts to cut down on nausea cut off circulation in my wrists. I cannot win.
Jul 31, 2013 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
We finally found a spot for most of the things we own which means one thing- time to move again!!
Here we go again.
As usual, moving puts the house in a state of disarray. I almost feel that for this sixth time in two years, we’ve managed to keep things just the slightest bit more orderly around here. And I do mean SLIGHTEST. The boxes are sort of stacked neatly. Everything on the counter is in the same general location. There are no bags of trash lying around. (I’m trying to convince myself here and I’m not sure it’s working.)
Let’s take an inventory of this small portion of my home:
* random bottle of salad dressing on the counter
* recyclables to take out
* birthday gift to wrap and mail
* Nerds for a healthy packing snack
* wedding gift to mail
* box with cookbooks
* cookbooks that don’t fit in the cookbook box
* trash bags that I refuse to put away because they’ll be needed in about 3.26 seconds
* box with kitchen utensils blocking the way into the kitchen
* a globe sitting on a random box waaaay over on the left (I didn’t know what to do with the earth so I put it with the decor box. Seemed more fitting than in with the glasses.)
What I lack in neat packing skilz I make up for in over-detailed box labeling skilz!
