Jun 4, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
You will never believe how I spent Saturday (besides sleeping in three hours). I spent it on the back of a motorcycle. Or as Arlo Guthrie likes to say, a moooooootersickle.
(This is the point in the story where people always say to me, “Christopher has a motorcycle? Why didn’t you tell me that??” I simply didn’t know you wanted to know, but now you do so we shall move on.)
It was only the second time I had ever been on the motorcycle, and my first time on the road. I spent the first half of the ride holding on for dead life and closing my eyes at every little turn because I was so nervous. When my eyes were open, I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn’t be the backseat rider shouting things like, “DO YOU SEE THE GUY CROSSING THE ROAD 500 YARDS AHEAD??? DON’T HIT HIM!!” Christopher was a wonderful driver(steerer? person operating the machine?), I was just slightly paranoid by the thought that I might see some of my life flash before my eyes at any moment. We stopped for a relaxing picnic in the park and, thanks once again to Arlo, I started singing, “I don’t want a pickle, just want to ride my mooooootersickle.” Except that a pickle really would have been a lovely addition to the picnic.
Please ignore the giant helmet that makes me look like some sort of alien.
Our next stop was the Harley store to buy more a more appropriate headgear. The saleslady (bejeweled and bedecked in Harley Davidson jewelry) asked me what type of helmet I was looking for. Did I want whole, 3/4, or 1/2? That was a question I was not capable of answering, so I simply replied that I needed to see the options. I figured that sounded slightly more intelligent than saying, “I really have no idea. Just give me something that covers my head and looks good with a wide variety of clothing.” She put several on my head and explained how this one was aerodynamic and that one was ecofriendly and this one will make you want to ride for days. It was very hard for me to stay serious during this because I never even considered riding a motorcycle, yet here I was purchasing a helmet! The whole thing struck me as very funny. I just about lost it when the lady said, “It’s good to spend the money on a high quality helmet that will last for years DOWN THE ROAD.” I almost died.
After the Harley store (I believe the die-hards call it a “shop”), we rode around some before stopping at the shooting range to practice for a test Christopher is taking. (Could the day have been any more outside of my normal Saturday routine?) We went to see What to Expect When You’re Expecting after that because we needed a little bit of girly in our day. Honestly, I enjoyed the riding (mostly because I didn’t fall off) and the shooting (mostly because I didn’t kill anyone by accident). We hadn’t been able to spend a whole day doing nothing except hanging out together and it was so fun.
When I got home, I discovered that it was a very good fan mail day! Daniel and Erika sent me this beautiful canvas for my birthday! We don’t have a hammer so I had to use the bottom of a pepper grinder to bang the nail into the wall.
Sweet
Laura sent me this very exciting birthday package! I oohed and ahhed about everything. Believe me when I say I have studied the W & K book like nobodys business.
We ended the day by visiting with people at the American Legion. Apparently I now spend my days on a motorcycle and my nights with senior citizens. It’s almost like I don’t even recognize my own life anymore. At least I have an eco-friendly, aerodynamic, goes-with-everything helmet with which to meet these crazy days.
Jun 2, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
Yesterday was one of those days when you think that SURELY
it must be 5:30 already, but when you look at the clock it only says 12:15. It
was a loooong day.
To start off, I had to wake up at dark o’thirty. Technically it was only 6:30, but I don’t
enjoy rising when the first number on the clock isn’t a 7 or higher. I had to
make my first batch of frosting for that evenings cake class. Making frosting is not
something I really love doing at a normal time, so you can imagine the warm
fuzzy feelings I had towards Crisco and vanilla flavoring at 6:42. As soon as I
finished the frosting I had to leave for babysitting.
Normally Amelia and I will venture out to Pet Smart when we
want a big adventure, but I needed to buy my friend a wedding gift and I didn’t think she’d appreciate a new dog bowl or a hamster cage, so we went to Pier 1
instead. Pier 1 isn’t normally among the
top 12 places to take a two year old, but she’s not Molly a wild child so I
figured we’d give it a shot. I had built
The Fancy Store up to being a very special place, so special that rule was we
ONLY touch things with one finger. Things went surprisingly well. I think part
of this has to do with my over-enthusiastic exclamations of “Have you EVER seen
such a pretty napkin ring, Amelia? Do you see this monkey salt shaker??” to keep her attention. I guess I didn’t need
to be so enthusiastic because she found a green and blue broom that held her
fascination for a good three minutes. I gave her a silk flower to hold and
she alternated sweeping the floor with it and using it like a metal detector.
Her flower broom found its way to a flamingo statue that she paused to look at
before kissing it squaring on its beak. The flamingo was so shocked that he
started teetering back and forth and I barely made it over in time to catch him from
falling. Amelia gave me a look that clearly said, “What? Don’t you go around
randomly kissing things at The Fancy Store? Not even that napkin ring you so enjoyed?”. By that time I had
found what I was looking for and we exiting the store, triumphant in the
knowledge that besides the flamingos heart breaking by our departure, we hadn’t caused any damage.
I spent- and I wish I was exaggerating here- no less than
three hours the afternoon making and coloring frosting. The kitchen was a disaster,
the frosting on cake had crumbs in it, the sink was FULL of dishes, and I had
frosting in my hair. I even put the sponge in the trash instead of in the sink.
Finally I had everything cleaned up and my bag for class on the table so I
could just grab it and go. I was carrying over the cake holder to put with the
bag when I realized the cake wasn’t even in it. It was still sitting on the
counter. Can you imagine if I forgot to bring my cake to the cake decorating
class?? I couldn’t even say my dog ate it because we don’t have a dog! Like I
said, looooong day.
Considering how my afternoon was, I wasn’t expecting the class to go very well. It was the last class of Level 1 so we had a big decorating project and I was so nervous. Thankfully the whole thing went much better than expected (I had kept my expectations very very low), and I think my cake came out well!
I was so happy to go bed last night. SO SO HAPPY. And this morning, I got up when the first number on the clock was A LOT higher than 7.
May 15, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
I had every intention of putting these pictures up yesterday afternoon, but I had TWO medium-scale baking catastrophes within an hour so I never got around it. Not to mention that I have a well documented history of not posting about a weekend until we’re almost at the next weekend. Can’t break tradition.
Friday night we went to a baseball game. I can’t attend a baseball game without taking pictures of the dugout, so without further delay I present Picture VII in my Dugout Series, Edition Team Black and Orange (subtitled I Don’t Know Why the Guy in the Stripped Shirt Didn’t Get the Memo).
I’ve been to many a minor league baseball game in my day, but never have I seen a man charge around the field in a pink flamingo costume while throwing hot dogs into the crowd. The phrase, “Wow. That flamingo guy can REALLY throw a hot dog.” is not one you say everyday.
Saturday we visited a lovely historic home on the edge of the Appomattox River. On our way home we stopped at Walmart. We had four items on our shopping list yet we walked out with no less than 28. Just goes to show that a) you shouldn’t go grocery shopping when you’re hungry, and b) one of us is not very good at sticking to the list.
Sunday, of course, was Mother’s Day. Despite the fact that I was mistakenly wished Happy Mother’s Day numerous times at church, we didn’t have any mother-related plans for the day other than call our mothers in far-off states. My poor mom got to spend the day at the hospital. I tried to cheer her up by pointing out all of the attention she was getting on her special day, but I got the feeling that wasn’t the type of attention she was dreaming of. After lunch we explored a new park. We’re big on exploring the area. I have a knack for wearing inappropriate (but cute!) shoes so we didn’t walk too far, but it was nice to be out of the ghetto in the great outdoors.
Self-portrait brought to you by Christopher and his handily long arm.
Apr 6, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
I had big plans for yesterday. I was going to take pictures of everything I did during the day and write about it like I did last year. Well. All I did from about 9:30 to 12:30 was laundry, then I did errands after lunch and didn’t get home until almost midnight. By then I was too tired to do anything other than eat pudding. Pudding cup are the midnight snacks of champions.
Going to the laundry mat takes SO MUCH TIME. It also takes a lot of quarters. I stockpile quarters like a squirrel stockpiles nuts. One time I dropped a precious quarter and it rolled under the car so I crawled under to get it. I don’t fool around.
After I put the clothes in the washing machine I went to the grocery store. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it much, but the town we live in is teeny tiny. Of the twelve stores on Main St., only four are open year round- the bar/restaurant, the grocery store, the laundry mat/convenience store/gas station, and the liquor store. One day I went out to do laundry and saw fourteen people out and about. It was like the place turned into a metropolis overnight. Where was I? Back to the grocery store. It’s a tiny store and I only had three items on my list, but I needed help finding two of them. I’m sure the locals at the register looked at each other and remarked that I surely was not a native of their small town. The fact that I clearly don’t have a NY accent was probably another clue. I still had a few minutes to kill before the washer to dryer transfer, so I went to look at the water. I love living by the water.
By then I was tired of hanging around a tiny town with nothing to do, so I went home. Then I turned right back around to take the clothes out of the dryer and folded them. Like I said, it’s pretty much a CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE event just to do laundry.
After lunch I drove half an hour down to civilization to do some Easter dress shopping and get a haircut. The hairdresser and I had a lovely chat. We discussed stuffed French toast, zebra and pink nurseries, the pros and cons of Charlotte Russe earrings, and how people often think we’re much younger than we really are. At that point I really started hoping she hadn’t seen the bright and colorful Disney princess band aid I was sporting on my pointer finger. No wonder people think I’m 15. (I’d like to point out that when one is living with 3/4 of their belongings in storage, one can’t afford to be picky about band aids.)
I picked up this little munchkin after my haircut and we spent the evening playing tag and reading books. I gave her a little ladybug costume for her birthday and she looked so precious wearing it. I may have taken 48 pictures of the cuteness.
In a nutshell (as opposed to 8,000 words), yesterday I did laundry, went Easter shopping, got a haircut and babysat Allison.
I suppose I could have just said that in the first place.
Mar 19, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
Last December I went to the oral surgeon for a consultation on wisdom tooth removal. As the nurse lead me into the exam room, she waved me over to the chair and said, “I’ll put a movie on for you to watch while you’re waiting for the doctor.” I got so excited. I started hoping to high heaven that she’d ask what I wanted to watch because I was in the mood for a movie featuring Gwyneth Paltrow or John Krasinski. Then she turned around and said, “It’s a fabulous movie containing lots of information about wisdom teeth, so make sure you pay attention.” Let me assure you I was suddenly much less enthusiastic about the idea of watching a movie while reclining in a dental chair.
Today is the big four-tooth removal day. Elizabeth is home from school and will accompany me to the doctors in order to document the day like I did for her last year. I’m slightly concerned about the whole process, but I’m almost more concerned about the words that might come out of my mouth while I’m recovering from the anesthesia. After Elizabeth’s surgery, she told me I had three noses. She followed that flattering statement up with, “asddie dsadfi muffins tterireons police adsfoe shoes wfeab OUCH.”
Thankfully we have Elizabeth around to record any of the fine (or not so fine) things I might say. Who knows, I may start talking to Gwyneth and John as though they’re with me live and in the flesh.
Mar 14, 2012 | Life, Uncategorized, What's going on |
Today I went to the urgent care clinic. I had been feeling nauseous and headachy on and off since the Carbon Monoxide Incident, so I went to visit those who wear white coats and stethoscopes. I hadn’t done any form of exercise lately, so I decided that I would go to the doctor after Zumba. After forty minutes my stomach protested my decision to jump, lunge, and generally move in ways that caused discomfort, so I left before the class was done. I had to do some in depth thinking about which medical facility to visit. I considered trying to get an appointment with a regular doctor at the clinic, but they don’t believe in prompt scheduling so I probably couldn’t get in for two weeks. That left the hospital and the urgent care clinic. I swore after The Great Plague of 2011 that I was not going back to the urgent care clinic (something about being told that a heart rate of 134 was “nothing to worry about” didn’t really sit right with me), but I decided it would be the best place to go today. The hospital was ruled out because even though I visited twice during The Great Plague, I’m not entirely sure how to get there.
I filled out the required paperwork at the UCC (see that? I’m a Army wife throwing around acronyms!!) then sat down to wait. And wait. And wait some more. I don’t think the powers that be understand the full meaning of the word URGENT. My fellow waiting room companions were a woman with a horrendous cold, a boy with an infected hand, and a soldier waiting to get a rabies shot. I don’t think his companion was thrilled with the wait because he suggested that the nurse throw the needle like a football over the counter, across the waiting room, and into the man so they could leave. That would have been much more entertaining than the soap opera on the tv.
Finally they called me back and subjected me to a question I find most difficult to answer: are you pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant? What exactly is their definition of “planning on”? Do I plan on producing a small person sometime within the next five years? Yes. Within the next month? No. Welcome to my brain. I was told that I do not have CO2 poisoning. I simply have a some form of virus and was prescribed an anti-nausea medication.
You know what I had to do after leaving that doctor? Call my oral surgeon to ask if I could take the medicine because I’m having my wisdom teeth removed on Monday and was told not to take certain prescriptions. My life is full of doctors and medical questions! The nurse at the oral surgeon’s office and I had this delightful conversation:
Me: It’s spelled Z-O-F-R-A-N
Her: G as in girl, O…
Me: Z as in zoo, O, F
Her: Z as in zoo, O, S as in Sam
Me: Z-O-F as in Fran
Her: Z-O-F-what’s the next letter?
Me: R. Then A and N
Her: Z-O-F-R-A-what did you say?
Me: N as in night. Night as in N, not knight as in K.
Here’s hoping for less confusion when four teeth are removed from my mouth.
