Mar 11, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
This weekend started off with a bang (actually it was a beep) at 2:28 Friday morning. We assumed it was the fire alarm going beep beep beep every 30 seconds, so we stood on a chair and disconnected it from the ceiling. At least, Christopher stood on the chair and disconnected it. I got out of bed, walked over to survey the the scene, got a drink, and went back to bed. Obviously quite helpful. My fire alarm area of expertise lies in standing below them while energetically waving a towel to make them stop beeping, and I didn’t think that would be of much help here. The beeping didn’t stop and we eventually realized it was coming from the carbon monoxide detector. Then we discussed whether we were going to die or not. We choose to be proactive in keeping ourselves alive, so we opened all the windows to let in the freezing, straight-off-the-river air. On the outside I remained very calm, but on the inside I was thinking, “How does one know if they are being poisoned by carbon monoxide? Do they feel nauseous? Because my stomach does feel a little funny. Is my throat burning?” After consulting the instruction sticker behind the carbon monoxide tester, we decided it was the battery, not an alarm telling us to RUN FOR OUR LIVES INTO THE FREEZING COLD AS FAST AS WE COULD.
So that was a fun night.
Saturday afternoon we went to the science museum. In the outer space exhibit, I stood on a special scale that told me I would weight 511 lbs. on Jupiter. I don’t think I’d want to live on Jupiter for too long. After the museum, we went to the AT&T store at the mall because my phone had stopped making and receiving calls. The man behind the desk told me I could use his phone to call tech support, but just as he went to hand it to me, the phone broke. Technology was against me at every turn. That night we saw Act of Valor. I thought it was an excellent movie.
Sunday we went to church and sat one row away from our favorite baby, Ethan. We’re not sure what his real name is, so we assigned him one. He is ad.or.able. I may have brought up borrowing him for a week (or forever), and Christopher replied, “Sure. You go get the baby and I’ll go get the car. Then to save time, we’ll drive straight to the police station.” Except for that last part, he is coming along quite nicely when it comes to my frequent baby-borrowing plans.
You all have a lovely week. Try to avoid poisoning of any sort.
Mar 7, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
It’s only Tuesday, but I’ve already been to the gym twice this week. If you do the math, that means I’ve been TWO DAYS IN A ROW, something that has happened approximately never before in my life. Yesterday I went on the treadmill. It’s the only piece of equipment I trust myself to use without worrying that I might break it. After all, I was told on my personal tour of the gym that each piece of exercise equipment is less than two months old, so I would hate to be the person who makes the purchase of another expensive heart-strengthening/muscle-tightening/leg-stretching apparatus necessary. Especially after I was told I couldn’t have a calendar of events for the month of March because they’re too poor to afford paper.
A very interesting thing happened while I was walking to the locker room. A large group of soldiers were standing where I was trying to walk and one of them finally noticed. He looked around, started waving his arms and loudly announced, “Female! Female!” They parted like the Red Sea. I felt so important. The fact that a general was holding a ceremony at the gym while I was there proved without a shadow of a doubt that this gym is nothing like a YMCA back home.
Today I went to a new Zumba class. It was my first time doing Zumba in front of a mirror and, while I strategically placed myself in the back row, I saw enough to know that the below picture is very very true.
Mar 4, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
1. This week I saw three Amish buggies which is three more than I’d see in a month at home. I saw fifteen deer which is fourteen more than I’d see in a month back home. I saw three men in some sort of hunting attire walking down the road with guns over their shoulders. That’s three more hunters with guns than I’d see in five years back home.
Toto, we are no longer in Kansas.
2. I just finished transferring all 283 pictures on my camera to my computer. I needed to clear the space so I’d have room to take more pictures of important things such as pizza and my impressive collection of paint chips. I came across this picture and it took me a minute to remember why I felt this house was so important it needed to be documented forever. Then I remembered. It’s the home of Jon and Kate Plus 8.
During my visit to Laura’s, we decided to pop by the Gosslin home to say hello. We hopped into Old Blue and off we drove. And drove. And drove. They really do live way out in the middle of nowhere, but I assume that’s their goal. They were probably trying to avoid a situation wherein two girls s-l-o-w-l-y drive by taking pictures of their house and being all “oh look! There’s their dog!”
In other words, they were trying to avoid us.
3. It was with great sadness that I learned of the retirement of my very dear friend and most favorite baseball player EVER, Mr. Jason Varitek.
I will continue to wear my #33 shirts with pride. And a few tears. And I shall name my second son Jason in his honor. The father of my future children does not agree with that decision, but he’ll come around.
I am probably the only person in the entire state of New York to feel such sadness over his announcement.
4. I‘m beginning to realize that I have many “very dear and good friends” whom I’m never actually met. The list includes such little-known people as George and Barbara Bush, Channing Tatum, Jason Varitek, and Carrie Underwood. I choose to believe it’s only a matter of time until they embrace our friendship and invite me over for Christmas dinner.
Feb 27, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
Christopher didn’t have to work on Friday so our long weekend started off with a bang: we went to the laundry mat.
I know.
Try not to be jealous of our highly exciting weekends.
I hadn’t been to the laundry mat in at least fifteen years so it was an experience. Just as I finished pouring a big cup of detergent into the special detergent spot, Christopher asked me, “Is that detergent or fabric softener?” It was indeed fabric softener. And to think that I spent a good seven minutes smelling various flower and fruit scented detergents at the store only to purchase softener by mistake instead. While my clothes may not have been exceptionally clean, they were exceptionally soft.
Saturday morning I awoke to the sound of bacon sizzling on the stove. I lay there for quite a while thinking how sweet it was that Christopher was making me breakfast. I was even going so far as to wonder if it was going to be breakfast in bed when I realized I couldn’t smell any bacon. Upon further investigation, I realized the sizzling sound was not bacon. It was the water running in the sink while Christopher washed the dishes. It was very sweet of him to wash the dishes, but I must admit it wasn’t nearly as tasty as a fresh plate of bacon.
That evening we had a date night. We now pose outside for all our pictures because HELLO! we have a lovely background.
We went to see The Vow and oh my word was it sweet. I loved it. I like that for once someone made a movie about a married couple being in love as opposed to married people running off with someone else’s spouse.
The fact that my good friend Channing Tatum was in fine form didn’t hurt either.
Just sayin’.
Feb 24, 2012 | Life, Uncategorized, What's going on |
After four days, I think it’s safe to say we’re settled into our new home. “Settled” really is a very relative term when we’ll be here for less than two months, but this is our home for now. I feel like inviting Carrie Underwood over to serenade us with Temporary Home.
On Tuesday I went to get an oil change for the truck. Contrary to what you may be thinking, I am not about to say I had another embarrassing experience at the mechanics. I never got to the mechanics because I got lost. There I was, wandering the roads of upstate New York without food or drink for a good hour. It didn’t take me long to discover that all corn fields look the same and that REALLY didn’t help my current situation any.
I finally made it back to home sweet home and decided a good cup of coffee might help calm my nerves. Something went awry in my coffee/water ratio calculations and I ended up with the most watered down coffee I have ever had. It was not one of my favorite afternoons ever.
On to more cheerful topics. This is the view I see every morning when I wake up.
The United States is in the foreground and Canada is in the back.
My morning ritual goes something like this: wake up, eventually decide to get out of bed, immediately walk to the door and look out at The View. I like to make sure Canada and the United States are still there, side by side. I always feel I should sing O Canada and The Star Spangled Banner at such moments.
Then I decide maybe I should spend my time doing things like making coffee correctly.
Jan 24, 2012 | Uncategorized, What's going on |
My mother (the one with the irritatingly good sense of direction) and I (the one with the frustrate lack of any directional skills) took yesterday and today to search for an apartment in New York.
You know who does not have a natural talent for researching real estate? Me.
This morning I sent my dearly beloveded far-off husband the following message: “I’m going to find you a mansion with a cook, a car person, and a go to Blockbuster to pick up our desired movie person. Or just a house with a roof and a bed.”
I did not get him a mansion or a car person (honestly, the car person would have been solely for my benefit), but I did get him a house with THREE beds and a view.
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| photo not taken this morning |
In all fairness and honesty, I did not find this apartment. Christopher, the dearly beloveded far-off husband, found it last week after I, the one in charge of apartment plans, may have had a small emotional breakdown while on the phone with him. It was not one of my finer moments.
The land in the distance across the lake is Canada. I have been practicing my Canadian language skills in my head all day. I would hate if a Canadian rowed over to my new home and I didn’t know the perfect thing to say. Unfortunately, one of the only phrases I could come up with was “cheerio!” While such a phrase might be appropriate to threw around when one dines with William and Kate (and don’t we all do that on a regular basis?), I don’t think it’s quite appropriate here. I’d love to hear from any experts who may know.
Come to think of it, I’m French Canadian so that alone should get any new Canadian friendship off to a rip-roaring start.
