Wife, mother, laugh-er at very inopportune moments, and matchmaker. I am an excessive user of commas and exclamation marks. I once won March Madness despite knowing nothing about basketball, and I know how to find all the best Dunkin Donuts coupons. Clearly my talents are just endless.

six short stories

Aug 29, 2020 | 0 Comments

We were having a conversation about whether we’d prefer to work for the CIA or FBI. I made a statement about how I’ve been watching a show about Quantico so I know all about how the CIA works. Christopher said, “Isn’t Quantico the FBI?” Ok, so maybe I don’t know EVERYTHING about how it works, including but not limited to the name and which bureau the entire show is about.

*
Me: I won’t be a weird cat person.
Also me: I can’t come to help you right now because my hand is supporting Lucy’s head while she naps.

Sesame has been to see the school nurse twice since school started complaining of a sore throat. She gets a sore throat from allergies so I assumed it was either that or she wanted the thrill of going to the nurse’s office. On Friday she woke up with a sore throat again and I had a suspicion it could be related to her wanting to stay home. I took her to the doctor 25% because I thought she had something and 75% to prove that she was fine. Lo and behold she is on the tail-end of strep and has a swollen lymph node. Who made me the mother around here?

I won’t name names, but someone around here has been failing Personal Space 101 class.

Lucy does not approve of such shenanigans.

Every morning on the way to school I sing It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I started this tradition when she was in preschool and I was happy to resurrect it for the first grade drive. I change the words to match the weather but it’s always a stunningly beautiful rendition. I forgot to sing it one morning so I sang it on the way home then turned on country radio and started singing along with Darius Rucker. My darling child, who appreciates everything I do, piped up from the backseat, “Can you switch to some music from the 80s instead?” That’s not the five-star review I was hoping to receive. I’ll have to add some new tunes to my repertoire.

AB spent many afternoons watching Elana of Avalor. By virtue of living in the same house, I have spent many afternoons hearing the show in the background and have become too invested in her story. I’ve asked countless times when she would be coronated but AB had no answer beyond “she’s too young and can you please get me a snack.” I was embarrassingly excited to see that her coronation episode has finally been released. You know who has no desire to see the coronation episode? My child. You know who wants to watch it? Me. I probably won’t watch it on my own, but 2020 has been an odd year so who knows.

back to regularly scheduled programming

Jun 24, 2015 | 4 Comments

Apparently I took a 13 day blogging break. I didn't mean to take a break, it just happened. I can barely even remember what happened between last time I blogged and now. I do remember that I sat Annabelle down on the edge of the front porch to take her picture and she...

time to add ‘pooper scooper’ to my resume

Jun 11, 2015 | 4 Comments

We've had some odd happenings around here lately. The most memorable is that I found two piles of what appeared to be cat or dog poop on the stairs inside my house. We don't own a cat. Or a dog. Obviously this is very disturbing. There were three possible...

I’d like to thank Goodwill for providing us endless summer entertainment for only $19.99

Jun 9, 2015 | 6 Comments

This weekend packed all the excitement we've come to expect around here. Christopher mowed the grass, I did laundry and weeded the garden, and AB unrolled the toilet paper all the way from the bathroom to the kitchen and threw all my makeup brushes into the tub....

it’s all fancy and formal until your bobby pins start popping out

Jun 8, 2015 | 7 Comments

A few weeks ago we were discussing the location of Christopher's battalion ball. He said, "I think it's at Bruce Jenner Hall." Excuse me? I told him I HIGHLY doubted any hall in our area was named after Bruce Jenner. Turns out he didn't have any idea who said...

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