I bought skinny jeans today. 

When they first became popular I swore I was not a skinny jeans girl. I believe it all goes back to a pair of pants I had when I was young that were such a terrible version of skinny jeans that I’ve had a bad opinion of them since. This week during one of my late night thinking sessions I decided that since I am in need of winter clothes and I saw skinny jeans at Forever 21 for only $10.50, I’d bite the skinny jean bullet. 

That is how I found myself standing in front of the jean section of Forever 21 at half past twelve this afternoon. To fully prepare myself for the life-changing event I was undertaking, I had made sure to wear my cute flats to the store so I could get the full effect of the outfit in the dressing room mirror.

I immediately ran into a problem while searching for my size- I had no idea what all their size numbers meant. I had been size 2 forever but recently I had to buy a pair of size 4 pants. (I got married and suddenly my waistline decided to expanded unnecessarily. True story.) Forever 21 only had pants that came in double digit numbers like 26 and 38. I KNEW that there was no way I had gone all the way from size 4 to size 38 in a matter of weeks, so I was very befuddled. I finally found a pair of size 28 jeans that, when held up to my unnecessarily expanded waistline, looked like they might fit. At this point I got up the courage to ask a girl about 6 years my junior to tell me what number a size 4 wearer should try on. She looked at me as if I had lost my fashion mind and said, “are you SURE you wear size 4??” in a voice that clearly meant she thought I was aiming too low. 


Was she really questioning on the size of customers waist?

“Well,” I said, trying to defend my waist, “sometimes I wear size 2. It all depends on the brand.” 

She told me what size to try on but failed to educate me on why someone who wears a size 4 (or sometimes 2!) should buy a size 27. A lady at Gap once told me that the numbers on their new jeans are a direct correlation to the number of inches around ones waist. I certainly don’t carry a tape measure tucked in my pocketbook for such a time as this because WHAT NORMAL GIRL DOES THAT? 

For better or for worse, for size 2 or size 52, I now own a pair of dark blue skinny jeans.

But I do hope I’m not size 52.