* Within a span of seven days the following items in our house broke: the heat, the hot water heater, the kitchen sink, the internet, and the water filter in the refrigerator. Our house is cursed. Who wants to come visit?

* I was recently reading an article about a team traveling to Mars. I was feeling jealous not to have been included when I read that it’s a one-way trip. And just like that I decided I have no problem staying home. 

* At my last appointment the midwife was talking about birth plans. I didn’t tell her I developed a plan called JITB, or Jack in the Box. It works like this: you pick a short tune, preferably a lullaby or some other child appropriate tune (extra parent points if it’s educational), to be played you’re while in labor. The song plays for 10-15 second before suddenly stopping. As soon as it stops the baby pops out and you have the worlds fastest delivery. Move over, Hypnobabies. There’s a new method in town.

* I failed the glucose test on Monday so I go back on Friday for the 3 hour test. I anticipate
1. fainting from lack of food
2. being completely bored
3. failing again

* Since we’re on the topic of my health, I had to find a new primary care doctor. I didn’t know who to pick so I looked on the website of a large and popular doctors office in town. My method of narrowing down doctors was very scientific- Are they female? Do they look nice? Do I like their name? I am nothing but superficial. I eventually choose a doctor named Greta because she sidelines as a jazz gospel singer. This singing doctor discovery was almost as exciting as learning last summer that I had been assigned to a doctor named Mary Crawley. If you don’t know who Mary Crawley is than I not sure we can be friends.

* Speaking of Mary Crawley, this season of Downton Abbey has already DONE ME IN. As if not having Matthew and his wonderful hair around isn’t bad enough, now I have to hurt for Anna until the next episode. I MAY NEVER RECOVER.