Feb 16, 2023 | What's going on |
Last Friday, Christopher and I volunteered at Night to Shine.
I spent weeks deliberating and second-guessing my outfit. Christopher hadn’t tried on his suit nor did he have a bowtie until the day before and he wasn’t concerned about it one bit. I was on the bowtie search committee. Other than no pink or brown, I had no guidelines which wasn’t helpful. I went to a local store that sells suits, ties, and the most bejeweled and embroidered men’s shoes and belts you’ve ever seen. Everything in there was bright, bold and the place of Dolly Parton’s dreams. It was outside anything Christopher would wear but I loved it. I refrained from getting him a bowtie with a crown or rose pinned to the middle. It would have fit the occasion but he’d never have worn it.
It’s not an exaggeration that it took me two hours to do my hair that day. I straightened it with the round brush but it looked too flat, so I added curls with the curling iron. My hair doesn’t hold fake curls well so they all went limp. That required me to use the straightener to fix that problem. School should have been canceled for the day so I could fully devote my attention to my hair issues. I couldn’t properly focus when I had to be answering questions about the Revolutionary War simultaneously. NTS was hosted by the church associated with Annabelle’s school and held on the school/church property. The students helped fill the guest’s gift bags and were involved as much as they could leading up to the big night. Sesame had also gone to volunteer training with us so she was well aware of what the event was (a prom for those with special needs). Every time I sighed or made a complaint about my hair, she’d said, “You know, Mom, it’s not about you. It’s about them and making them feel special.” She wasn’t wrong, but I also wanted my hair to look good! After all that work, my job was partly outside in the rain and my hair got messed up anyway. Pride goeth before a bad hair day.
Christopher was part of the shoe-shining crew. I didn’t get to see him in action, but a picture of his hands polishing a man’s shoes made it to the big recap video so apparently he made an impression. I wasn’t sure he’d make it at all. We had 227 registered VIP’s and you know who wasn’t one of those guests? Christopher’s shingles. That’s right. The week that we have a Big Event, his body said, “LOL. JK! Let’s throw a wrench in your plans and give you a disease for which there is no medicine unless you take it within 18 minutes of the onset of symptoms.” It was touch and go for a while there, but he pulled himself up by his suspenders and polished away.
I was on the red carpet. Of course, I was. Was there ever a more perfect spot for me and my rose gold sequined shoes? I was delighted the whole entire night.
After the men got their shoes shined and the ladies had their hair and makeup done, they rode in limos around the church and were announced to the crowd before walking the red carpet. We clapped and cheered like they were stars. My friend’s daughter and I waved our blue pompoms and cheered until we were hoarse. Many of those people had never been celebrated at all, let alone with an entire night catered to their special requirements, and it was so touching to see them respond. One man had so much fun in the limo they drove him around four times. Another man liked the attention of walking the carpet and asked to do it several times. Each time we cheered like it was his first time and his face lit up.
After the red carpet, the guests went to activities and games, the dance floor and karaoke, a meal and their crowning. All the men were given crowns and the girl’s tiaras. Night to Shine says “All kings, all queens, all loved by God” so they try to make everyone feel special, loved and included regardless of their capabilities.
We couldn’t stay for the whole event because of space and security reasons, but I’m so glad we got to be involved in a small way. It wasn’t much of an effort on our part but it made a huge difference for them.
Plus I got to wear sparkly rose gold shoes and I don’t care what AB says. I did that for me.
Feb 1, 2023 | What's going on |
We recently had Spirit Week and AB’s class dressed up as the 101 dalmatians. I made the ears which I thought were so cute, but Sesame took off immediately when she got into school. “Mom. I can’t be wearing those in the building! I can only wear them in the car and the parking lot!” I’m so glad I spent all that time cutting and gluing! Last week was the 101st day of school and she had no desire to dress up as an old lady so we recycled the shirt which was very handy. I didn’t bother asking if she wanted to wear the ears. I knew better.
Every Sunday after church we go out for coffee. Some Sundays we get a snack from the attached gas station and have a snacksperiment. Not to name names, but these two can be the weak links in the family when it comes to good taking pictures. Not that I think I’m a photogenic goddess, but I know about angles. These two roll their eyes and/or heads, make faces, and insist they’re smiling when they’re not. All I ask for is one nice picture! When I finally get one, I show anyone and everyone and use it for everything for the rest of the year.
Our church has recently gotten involved in an organization called Sleep In Heavenly Peace which provides free beds and bedding for underprivileged children. Christopher went with a group to Columbus several months ago to make the beds and they brought back several to distribute in our area. He and AB were part of a bed delivery before Christmas but I wasn’t able to go. On Saturday the three of us along with a few people from church went to a home downtown to bring two beds. Seeing children who previously had to sleep in bed with their parents or on the floor because there wasn’t another option isn’t something AB was familiar with so I’m glad it’s something she can experience. I think it’s important for her to be exposed and for all of us to be reminded how fortunate we are. Hopefully this ministry will grow and we can continue to help.
Another thing I think is important to teach is good-natured smack talk. Christopher has no smack talk or competitive nature which is exceptionally boring. I alone carry the role of handing the smack talk torch to the next generation. We’ve been on a big badminton kick which has given me and Annabelle lots of time to practice our best smack talk phrases. One she’s most proud of is, “I hope you brought a lawn bag because my score is going to be so high it’s going to mow over your score.” It’s a bit of a mouthful but she’s on the right track.
Annabelle told me she knows the F word. I asked her to write it down for me and said she wouldn’t get in trouble. She wrote “freak and fraud.” It will be a true zinger the day she uses one of those F words and calls me a badminton fraud.
Nov 21, 2022 | What's going on |
Last weekend we went to the pumpkin patch for our annual Fall day o’ fun. I always wear pants out of principle even though it’s in the 80s and more like shorts weather. We like to go there and sweat it out as we go down the giant tube slide, paint pumpkins, shoot the corn cannon, and more. When we arrived the place was dead. The man at the counter was surprised to see us. He said all the festivities ended the week before “because it’s almost December.” It was two weeks before Thanksgiving. Do people not like to have fun in November? We’re ready for fun at all times.
Given the limited options, we decided to do the corn maze. This corn maze had the added element of finding clues along the way to find out which farm animal kidnapped the farmer. Generally, I’m against paying for an event where I purposely get lost. I can (and do) get lost for free any old time! The last time I did a corn maze was when I was pregnant. I was maybe three months pregnant but we got so lost I thought I’d still be in there when it was time for me to have the baby. Now the baby that I almost had in the corn maze was leading the way (the blind leading the blind) while I brought up the rear and hoped for the best. She sang “Roses are red, violets are blue. Baby, I love you! That much is true!” I sang “Where you lead, I will follow” from Gilmore Girls but apparently it wasn’t a proper corn maze song because it “didn’t have enough of a beat.” I don’t think there should be so many rules in a corn maze shaped like a pig.
Aug 13, 2022 | What's going on |
“I don’t do blogs but I guess I can help with yours. Ok, let’s see. My favorite shows to watch this summer are Wizards of Waverly Place and The InBestigators. My favorite podcasts are Wow In the World, Who When What, Bobby Wonder and Circle Round. We went to a water park. We went to Boston. I went to Winshape. This is when we built one of our forts. 
We played in the dirt pile in the backyard. It’s called Dirt City. I build houses and bury the shovel so when I come back I can dig it up with my hand.
I’m a ghost in this picture. I said, ‘no more pictures, Mom!’
We walked at the lake and fed all the ducks. My favorite ducks are named Bushtop, Hangtime and Dragon. Their favorite snack is bread. 
We went to the coffee shop after church and I wore my gray hat. It was my detective hat from Halloween. The people at church liked it and kept saying it looked cute, but it wasn’t supposed to be cute! It was just a hat! I didn’t like all the attention when they kept saying that.
We did gardening. Mom’s tomatoes were a big snack for the bugs! The peppers are ok and they’re still growing now.
That’s about it about my summer. Can I finish my puzzle now?”
Jun 9, 2022 | What's going on |
VBS is in full swing at church.
The theme is Making Waves for Jesus and we created an underwater extravaganza with coral reefs, waves, and a jellyfish wall.
I was helping with behind-the-scenes things so I didn’t do much of the flashy decorating, but I did hang the blue water around the stage and under the left screen. As I predicted, the kids loved Mrs. Jimmy the octopus, the little creatures in the reef and hand-painted murals much more than my shimmering waves that are getting more flimsy by the day, but no ocean life would be possible without the water so in a way my handiwork is the most important.
AB has an up-and-down relationship with VBS. She hates loud noises and yelling so she spent most of the large group time the first day in the back of the room covering her ears. Once we break up into smaller groups she enjoys it more but she still has a limit on how much stimulation she can handle at one time. Yesterday during large group time (the loudest part of the day) she helped me do check-in for my kids which distracted her from the noise and this morning she was with her friends so we’re making progress. She likes seeing the kids and playing the games but she’d like it better without screaming.
Last year I was the snack lady with the other Sara. Everyone loves the snack ladies. We didn’t ask hard questions and we handed out goldfish and cookies. What wasn’t to love? We did such a fabulous job we both assumed we’d be snack ladies again this year, but no such luck. Kati and Kelli are the snack ladies. Instead of working off a little cart like we had, they have a cart, two round tables, and a long table decorated like a tiki bar (or “snack shack” since we’re in church). It’s fine. Sara and I aren’t jealous. We walked so they can run. At the planning meeting, the director asked that we write down what role we were interested in this year. I said snacks or anything job except being in charge of something. I’ll be an assistant all day long but I really didn’t want to be a leader. Guess what j-o-b I have. A leader of 15 first graders. My teacher hat is on and I am in full leader mode. We are the most organized and well-behaved group. We do have the VBS problem child but we have him under control for the most part. Two older ladies are helping our group and I have a suspicion the director put me with them because I have young eyes. Neither of them can read print smaller than size 20 font so they can’t see names on the clipboard or read the regular schedule. One of the ladies got herself a large print schedule that they hold up to the light and still squint to see. We also have three youth assistants with us all day so we’re quite the parade going down the hallway.
Kids across the country are all the same. They all have the ability to get completely off track. Each day we sit through a half-hour carefully thought out Bible lesson and without fail, someone raises their hand and says something along the lines of, “Mr. Wesley, my sister has a boyfriend” or “Can I go to Sonic when I leave today?” I can sense the unrelated questions coming from six miles away. Four kids will raise their hands and when I ask if anyone has a question related to Mr. Wesley’s lesson, all four hands go down. My eyes may be young but I have years of seeing through kid shenanigans under my belt.
May 18, 2022 | What's going on |
I was at the library recently and the librarian was updating my phone number in the system. Immediately after she confirmed the area code, she pushed the books I had just checked out across the counter and said, “Who’s the carrier?” I stared at her. What an odd question. She saw me come in alone and the library has no bellboy service so clearly I was the one carrying the books out. “I’m the carrier. I’ll take them out myself.” It was her turn to stare at me. “Ma’am, I mean who is your phone carrier.”
I carried my own books and shreds of pride as I slunk out the door.
My friend’s grandfather died last week. I offered to help out in any way and she asked that I watched the children in the church nursery during the visitation and funeral. My friend and her brother each have three children so I watched a 6yo, two 4yos, two 2yos and a 4-month-old for almost three hours. We entertained ourselves with crackers (a babysitter’s best friend) and decorating the baby with glowsticks. One of the two-year-olds nearly escaped before I noticed her slipping out the door. I caught her just in time, but not before the other two year old saw what was happening and decided she liked that idea. No sooner had I gotten the first one back in than the second one tried to make her escape. Neither was thrilled when I put a chair in front of the door. You’d have thought I turned the place into Fort Knox instead of a party zone with music, snacks, and glowsticks from my personal stash. One of the littlest girls shared the stomach bug with me which was a real treat. The grandma told me when I arrived at the funeral that Millie had gotten sick the night before but at that point it was too late to turn back. Not that I would have retracted my offer to help, but I could have attempted to pump myself full of vitamin C and healthy vibes to ward off the germs. Evidently I am a sucker for germs because I offered to bring a meal and help out my friend Emily who just had a baby. Her children are 6,4,2 and 2 weeks. The second the baby was born, all health hell broke loose and the entire family got sick. Each person except the baby has been on at least one prescription. They got their roof replaced at the same time which added insult to injury. There is no antibiotic strong enough to help a newly postpartum mother with a sick husband, four sick children and half a dozen men on her roof.
Mother’s Day was lovely. Annabelle made me an All About My Mom paper at school which is always one of my favorite things. Under “In her free time, my mom likes to __________” she wrote “tel Unkle Arion and Tilr her opinions.” (Tell Uncle Aaron and Tyler her opinions.) She’s not wrong. I do love to share my thoughts. Christopher has pointed out that I don’t need to have an opinion on everything. He says it like I actually 1. frequently share my opinion with those who don’t ask and 2. only have negative opinions. I don’t appreciate his opinion on my opinions. For “I love my mom because _________” Sesame said “my life is like a puzl (puzzle) and she is a piece!” I melted like butter.
Every single day I tell her she’s my best girl. For years she’d respond with, “You’re my best girl too!” Now she says, “You’re one of my best girls. Ivy and Aunt Squidzen and Sadie and Emory are my best girls too. But you’re still ONE of my best!” Someone give that girl a talk about not sharing all your thoughts and opinions! But also, Tree meet your apple.
I was minding my own business one Friday night when I received the following texts from an unknown number. I assumed it was one of the twins or a friend playing a prank on me, but we had recently been watching some movie where a shady deal went down by a fence behind a bar so it seemed possible a gang member might have gotten my number when he meant to text Vinny from the Bronx. I responded in the only way that made sense for both a sibling and a gang member- a Mickey Mouse GIF. There isn’t much overlap in the Venn diagram of gang member/loved one but Mickey seemed like the best fit.
I truly didn’t know who was texting me. I was equal parts interested to find out if I’d end up as a human interest story or if Christopher had gotten a new work phone and hadn’t given me the new number. There was radio silence for nearly twelve hours which I took to mean that the tattooed gang leader had found Vinny’s correct phone number and The Deal was done/Christopher had given up on pulling my leg. Then this came through. 
Well, well, well. Now there’s was money on the table. Color me very interested.
It was my sister texting me from her new phone. All the while I had been texting her about it on her other phone but she hadn’t been responding.
It gave us a good laugh.
